Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 130159 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130159 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
River’s expression turned thunderous. “Why won’t he just go the fuck away?”
“Maybe for the same reason I wouldn’t stay in New York when I’m sure Beck wanted me to. Feelings, man. You can’t escape them. When you’ve got them for a girl—”
“I don’t. I just want to talk to her.”
“Uh-huh. You keep telling yourself that.”
River shrugged him off and changed the subject. “So are you going to head home and have a fucking good night after you call the client?”
Seth shook his head. “I’ve got some paperwork to finish and a few inquiries to follow up on. Kiddie Kares sent me a few more background checks, so I’ll probably start those.”
“I can do that, man.”
“I got it. I’m…um, giving Beck’s brother a little time to settle in.”
“Zach is living with you?”
“Yeah, at least for a while.” It hadn’t been Seth’s first choice. Then again, the house they lived in belonged to Beck. Since the surgeon paid for it, Seth could hardly tell him who should and shouldn’t stay there.
“That guy has had it rough.”
More than River would ever understand. The loss, the sense of failure, the suddenly feeling adrift, of having his whole life change in the blink of an eye through every fault of his own. How long would Zach second-guess his decision to cross The Chosen and try to save his daughter from hell only to lose her for good? Seth’s guess? The rest of his life.
“Yeah.”
And therein lay Seth’s problem. Just looking at Zach brought back all the worst of his memories after Autumn’s and Tristan’s deaths. All his guilt, remorse, and contrition. The harsh, inescapable reality that it was too late to make different choices. The knowledge that the suburban home he’d scrimped and stretched financially to buy for his little family was nothing but an empty house haunted by memories he couldn’t bear to confront. Even looking at Zach’s tormented expression reminded him of looking in the mirror after his world had fallen apart and the police had been unable to come up with any hard evidence to prove who’d killed them. He remembered staring at his reflection and vowing to find the truth himself, then to kill the dirty motherfucker responsible. He’d turned in his badge in disgust and struck out on his own. He’d never forget the seedy clubs he’d visited, the dirty mobsters he’d confronted, or the low-down deal he’d made with the king of the Russian underworld in New York just to find some resolution.
He’d fucking tried to tranquilize his grief with booze and drugs, with anonymous fights and even more anonymous fucks. He’d become someone his family hadn’t recognized, someone they had feared. Hell, he’d even become someone he hadn’t liked.
But he’d finally found the answers he sought, meted out his revenge, laid his wife and son to rest for good, then tried to pick up the shattered pieces of his life. Until he’d met Heavenly, he’d only been taking up air and marking time. Now that he had her and he shared a great kinship with Beck, he had a reason to live again. He didn’t want to fuck that up.
If you love them, don’t you owe them your trust and your truth? Give them some answers…
So they could look at him like he was a violent monster? No. Beck had exposed his secret to everyone, and no wonder his loved ones hadn’t blamed him. He’d been born to those fucking religious cult crazies, stuck in the thick of their fanaticism through no fault of his own. He’d had to do something horrible to escape; no denying that. But if Beck hadn’t killed his father, the zealot would have killed him. As far as Seth was concerned, Beck’s act of patricide had been nothing but preemptive self-defense.
His own situation had been merely cocky, self-righteous idiocy.
“You okay?” River frowned.
“Sure,” he lied because he didn’t want to open this can of worms with River—or anyone. “Why?”
“You haven’t been yourself the last couple of days.”
“A lot on my mind.”
River nodded. “The action at the lodge was a lot.”
True, but that hadn’t bothered him. In fact, it had almost been cathartic, even if Beck didn’t realize what a lucky son of a bitch he was to have both vengeance and closure. So Seth groped for something else to blame his sour mood on. Thankfully, he didn’t have to reach far. And maybe River could even help with this issue.
“My mother is getting married this fall in New York. She wants me to bring Heavenly to the wedding so she can meet the family.”
“But not Beck?” River raised a brow. “Oh, she doesn’t know about you three.”
“Nope, and I don’t know how to tell her. She’s super traditional. Catholic. Protective. Well-meaning, but…” He shrugged. “I just don’t want to make strife at her wedding. How does your sister handle this shit?”