Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 121054 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 605(@200wpm)___ 484(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121054 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 605(@200wpm)___ 484(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
“He’s someone Neil knew.” It was hard to know how much to reveal, so I chose only the thing she could have figured out on her own. “Stephen Stern is Valerie’s brother. Neil and Stephen dated, and that’s how Neil met Valerie.”
I really had to applaud Mom for not visibly reacting. There would be so many objections stacking up in her mind. After a few endless seconds, she asked, “Is Neil gay?”
“No. Neil is bisexual.” I hated outing him to Mom, but since she already knew he’d dated a man, the point seemed moot. In an impetuous show of solidarity, I added, “Like me.”
“Oh.” Mom nodded. “But…you’re both straight now, right? You married each other.”
Yeah, and we fuck a whole bunch of other people. “That’s not really how it works. It’s more like…we’re married to each other, but either of us could have married someone of our gender. It’s… I don’t know. It’s complicated. I’m still trying to figure out stuff about myself. Please, just…don’t listen to what this Stephen douche is saying, okay? He’s just trying to drum up book sales.”
“Well, I think it’s very rude of this Stephen guy to blab about his past lovers in a book then run around giving interviews about them.” She shook her head. “It’s low class.”
“It is…” I agreed cautiously. “You’re not mad at Neil?”
Mom tilted her head and stared at me as though I’d just asked her if she’d voted Republican in the last election. “Why would I be mad at Neil? He’s not the one telling everyone his sexual history on morning shows. Did you know this Stephen person also dated some kind of British politician from their parliament, or whatever they have over there? It’s apparently a huge scandal.”
“I…did not know that.” In terms of coming out, I was a little disappointed that mine wasn’t a bigger deal. Maybe it was because Mom figured that since I was with a guy now, it didn’t matter if I was attracted to girls? Was I supposed to be relieved or insulted?
“Just do me a favor,” Mom said, still radiating concern. “Don’t get swept up in Neil’s dramas to the point that you’re not taking care of what you need for yourself.”
“He doesn’t have that much drama,” I protested, but Mom was already pursing her lips with a knowing nod.
“Let’s see, there’s the adult daughter, the ex-girlfriend, the ex-lover who writes tell-all books, the cancer,” she ticked these off on her fingers dramatically, “the alcoholism, the sweatpants—”
“Oh my god, Mom, he doesn’t even wear sweatpants that often!” I picked up my wine. Rolling the glass between my palms, I thought about all the things I’d learned about Neil in the past seven months. Not a damn one of them had convinced me to not marry him. “He’s had more time than I’ve had to rack up the baggage. And I don’t think I will. Every really hard thing I’ve been through in my life, I’ve been through with him, and he, like, protected me. I think he was spending so much time trying to protect me, he ended up hiding a lot of stuff.”
“Hey. You’re my daughter. You’re not supposed to say smart things,” she said, throwing my words back at me. Her smile was small and sad. “You know you can come to me with anything. We both know that I don’t care for Neil, and he doesn’t like me, either. But I love you, and if he’s going through something, you are, too. I’m not going to judge him. Unless he’s treating you like shit. And I don’t think he’d ever do that.”
Even though our talk made me feel a little better, I didn’t want to go back to the house. We watched a couple of episodes of Cheers on Netflix. I laid my head in her lap, like I’d done when I was a kid, and she played with my hair, braiding and unbraiding little bits absently.
“Mom?” I asked, drowsy. I’d have to go soon, or I would fall asleep. I shouldn’t have left Neil alone for as long as I had. He was the one who’d had the traumatizing day, and I should have been with him, just in case he woke up and needed me. But a little decompression time had gone a long way.
“Hmm?” she asked, her attention still divided between me and the TV.
“Don’t go back to Michigan.”
Her hand paused. Then, brightly, as though the thought had never occurred to her, she said, “You know. I think I’ll stay. You need a support system, and Holli is two hours away. I needed a change of pace, anyway. Maybe I’ll meet a guy or something.”
I sat up. “Wow, Mom, look at you.”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about it. I’ve already been here for half the year, anyway. And I was going to be stuck in that town forever. Who was I going to meet? I’m tired of being a spinster.” She shrugged. “I didn’t want to mention it until I got a job. I hate sponging off you.”