Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 115737 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115737 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 579(@200wpm)___ 463(@250wpm)___ 386(@300wpm)
My mouth falls open. ‘And you went back?’
‘Yes, after I’d picked her up from the hospital.’
I frown, not understanding.
‘She took a knife to her wrist.’
‘Oh my God!’ I gasp, recoiling in my chair. ‘That’s emotional blackmail, Jack!’
‘Maybe. I might not love the woman, but I don’t wish her harm.’ He slumps back in his chair, scrubbing his palms down his suddenly tired face. ‘I didn’t want to tell you because I know it’ll play havoc with your conscience. It would just be another reason for you to leave me.’
Play havoc with my conscience? Is he serious? Because there’s not enough playing havoc with it already? My heart sinks. ‘You’re trapped,’ I whisper. We’re trapped. There’s no way out. Stephanie has a hold on him and he can’t leave her because of what she might do to herself. And I wouldn’t want him to. That would make me inhuman, and despite everything I’ve done, all of my wrongs, I’m not a wicked person. I don’t wish her harm, either. I couldn’t live with myself.
Jack looks at me, and I see the torment in his eyes. And the guilt. It’s still there. Guilt for feeling like this. Guilt for not loving his wife. He grabs my hands with force, gritting his teeth. ‘You make me happy,’ he grates. ‘So fucking happy.’ He’s getting worked up, and it’s so upsetting to see how frustrated he is. How hopeless he feels. His wife knows just what to do to keep him. Because it’s worked before.
I hold on to my emotions as best I can. My situation hasn’t changed. It’s the same, but the stakes have been raised. I can’t imagine what Stephanie will do if she finds out about us . . . which means I have to ensure that she doesn’t.
I feel the tears of despair getting the better of me and use every scrap of strength I have to keep them at bay. I won’t be walking away. Not before, and most definitely not now.
He promised me he wouldn’t let me go again if the Fates ever brought me back to him. Well, they did bring me back, and they brought me back for a reason. I can’t control my feelings for him. I can’t stop them. He’s supposed to be mine. I need to free him from his nightmare, not for my own selfish reasons, but because he doesn’t deserve this. He should have what he wants, and if I am everything that he wants, then I have to help him have me.
‘We will be together, Annie,’ he vows. ‘No matter what.’
I get up from my chair and walk around to him, putting myself on his lap and showing him where I’m at. With him. Always with him. And I believe him. We will be together. But at what cost?
Chapter 16
Four months later . . .
I never thought I’d be the kind of person to settle for second best, and only having a piece of Jack is second best. But it’s a sacrifice I’ve had to make for now. A sacrifice that I’ve learned to cope with until we’re both ready to face the shit storm that’ll break when he leaves her.
In the meantime, we snatch moments here and there, meeting in hotel rooms on the odd afternoon and running together in the morning. The runs mean no touching, which is hard, but mostly I just love to be with him. To talk and laugh and forget reality, even for just half an hour.
It’s a constant challenge to keep our relationship secret at work – the looks that pass between us, the desperation to barge everyone out of our paths and throw ourselves at each other, damn anyone who’s watching. The sneaky touches, the private jokes. I loved my job before. Now, with Jack by my side on the projects we’re working on together, it’s truly amazing. I’ve found I seek his counsel. I ask him for his opinions and whether ideas I have can work. Knowing it’s Jack who is bringing so many of my ideas to life makes them more than just a project. They’re now all part of our story. We’re building more than just feelings and love.
I won the contract with Brawler’s. Jack made sure of it, singing my praises at every opportunity. I wasn’t about to let him down. The drawings were passed with only a few minor amendments, and he made a point of delivering the news before Brawler’s did. He called me while I was on my way to a meeting, and hearing how excited he was for me made me cry. Tears trickled down my cheeks as I stood at the entrance of Warren Street station. It’s my biggest project to date, and a huge addition to my portfolio. I always seem to be buzzing these days . . . until I think about her and the dirt tarnishing my happiness.