Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 87181 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87181 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
“Didn’t expect you to. How many more dates do you have this coming week?”
I pulled out my calendar and searched. “Five.”
“And how many of those are second dates?”
I stayed quiet.
None were second dates.
“Fine.” Kai sighed. “I’ll help.”
“What?”
“I’ll help you filter through the guys.”
“What do you mean? I don’t need a filter. I can tell when a guy likes me.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
“You didn’t feel disappointed when none of these men asked you out on a second date?”
“What makes you think there haven’t been second dates?”
He cocked an eyebrow.
I plopped back in my chair. “I haven’t received a second date, even though they’ve all said they’d love to see me again.”
“Yeah.” He started drying some glasses. “They lied to avoid hurting your feelings.”
“But my feelings are still hurt.”
“Yup, but they don’t have to see that you’re hurt. In their minds, you’re just a faded memory of a bad first date to add to their nightmare dating log.”
“I’m another strike on their scoreboard?”
“If it makes you feel better, they’re a strike against your board, too.”
I frowned. “This is very depressing.”
Kai shrugged in a dismissal fashion. “Welcome to the world of dating.”
I shifted around in my seat and swallowed hard. I was uncertain if I wanted Kai’s help, but with the approaching holidays and my declining mental health, I was willing to take advice from anyone. “Okay, so dick me.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
“Dick me. Be a dick to me and tell me what mistakes I’ve been making over the past few weeks.”
“I don’t know if ‘dick me’ is the right way for you to express that, but I’ll go with it.” He placed his rag on the table and crossed his arms as he leaned back against the counter. “Your whole appearance screams trying too hard.”
I glanced down at myself. “What?”
“A full face of makeup, high heels, skintight outfits, a bit too eager greetings when they arrive. You look at them as if they are the one, which screams a red flag. You ask too many questions and don’t leave space for them to ask how you’re doing. Or, worse, you don’t even care if they ask you anything about yourself, which they don’t.”
“They ask me things.”
He gave me a bullcrap expression. “How many have asked you about yourself?”
I scrunched my nose and tried to recall every interaction I’d had over the past two weeks. “Well, Wes asked me how I was that one time.”
Kai started a slow clap. “You might as well crown yourself as a princess because you’ve just met your Prince Charming.”
“The sarcasm isn’t necessary. So what do you suggest I do to correct my current situation? Because I need a date for the upcoming holidays. Otherwise, my mother will think I will die alone in my apartment with Grandma.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You live with your grandma?”
“Oh. That’s the name of my cat, Grandma.”
“You named your cat Grandma?”
“Yeah. It’s a weird kind of funny thing because when people ask me to hang out, and my introverted ways show up, I say, ‘Aw, man, I would love to, but I’m with my grandma tonight.’ And they never question it because they think it’s super cute that I’m hanging out with my grandma, but it’s just a cat and me watching old episodes of Will and Grace as we eat cat treats and Cheeto Puffs.”
“I’m debating if you are batshit crazy or extremely wise right now.”
“Probably a mixture of both, if I’m honest.”
“All right, Holly, as a witness to your extreme awkwardness, I will give you some tips and notes to help you out.” He pulled out a blank piece of receipt paper from the cash register, ripped it off, and began scribbling against it with a pen. “The do’s and don’ts of Holly dates.”
I held my breath as I waited for his advice. I knew it was somewhat silly to be taking dating advice from the world’s grumpiest man but to be honest, I was striking out day in and day out, and the holidays were only growing closer and closer. Maybe having a male’s input would be helpful.
“Rule number one: don’t offer to cover the bill,” he ordered.
“But I’m an independent woman, and I can—”
“Holly.”
“Yes?”
“Don’t offer to cover the bill. Don’t even reach for your wallet.”
“What if he doesn’t have enough to cover the cost?”
“Then he shouldn’t be on a date. He should be filling out job applications.”
“Okay. Noted. Next?”
“Do show up as yourself. If you’re a big makeup girl, be that. If you are a high-heel lady, cool. But don’t do it to get some guy’s attention. You’re good enough without makeup. Let him impress you, not the other way around.”
I peeled off my lashes and placed them on a napkin. “I hate makeup.”
The corner of his mouth almost turned up into a smile. Almost. He went back to the paper and scribbled. “Don’t say yes to everyone who asks you out for dinner or drinks. Only go with the ones you are interested in.”