Total pages in book: 56
Estimated words: 52553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 263(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 263(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
“That’s exactly it.” I wait for her to meet my gaze to continue. “Someone doesn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love, Lina. Brant was charming and lovely and made my life better, but he was also selfish at times, and he could be careless with his words and the emotions of people around him.” He never meant to hurt anyone, but that doesn’t mean he never did. “He also never got up before noon.”
“God forbid.” But she smiles a little. “He sounds like a handful.”
“He was.” I don’t know why my throat is trying to close, but I have to say the words. I have to. “But he’s gone, and he’s never coming back.”
“Thane—”
“Please let me finish.”
She looks troubled but finally nods. “Okay. Please continue.”
“I am not looking for a replacement Brant. Such a thing is impossible and not fair to anyone.” I have to look away from the hurt in her eyes. “But the past few weeks have made it clear that I’ve closed myself off to a lot of things, possibly in too much haste. I don’t know what kind of partner I’d be. My faults are legion. But . . .” I turn back to her. “I like spending time with you. Not simply having sex, though the sex is beyond words. I like the way your energy lights up a room, Lina. I don’t know what that means for the future, but I would like the chance to find out.”
She picks up a piece and then sets it down again. “What happens if you decide to find out and then realize you made a mistake and don’t like me at all?”
“That won’t happen.” I reach out slowly and cover her hand with mine. “I know you feel it too, Lina.”
“No one’s ever called me that.” She stares at our hands. “Always ‘Catalina’ or ‘Cat.’”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No.” She presses her lips together, and a line appears between her brows as she glares at the board. “Fine, maybe you won’t decide you don’t like me at all, but what happens if things go well?”
I blink. The way she says it, it’s an even worse outcome than the first option. “What do you mean?”
“I’m leaving.” She slips her hand from mine and moves a piece on the board. “This deal with Azazel is only for seven years, which means he’s putting me back in my realm at the end of that time with a boatload of money as payment.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask her to stay, but even I can recognize that isn’t a fair request. Catalina barely knows me, and we both come with significant scars from our respective pasts. There’s no guarantee we would want more than seven years together.
“What if we take it one day at a time?”
She sits back. “Don’t you think that’s a simplistic approach?”
She’s not wrong but . . . “It strikes me that we’re both prone to overthinking things and wanting surety where there is none. I like spending time with you. I think you like spending time with me as well.”
“I do,” she mutters.
“Then we will spend time together.”
“Just like that?”
“Yes.” I move my piece. “There’s no rush. We have time to get to know each other. There’s lots of my territory that I would like to show you.” Truth be told, Embry is monarch in all but name. Ze handles the day-to-day responsibilities, and ze is the one our people go to when they have a problem. In turn, I’ve taken over tasks previously assigned to Embry. They’re mostly tedious things, like negotiating disputes between various folks in our territory, but they leave me with quite a bit more free time than I once was accustomed to.
I’ve been spending those free hours wandering, but it’s time to put them to better use.
“Why the change?” Catalina frowns at the board and hovers her hand over a pawn before moving it to her queen. She keeps smiling. As we play, she keeps making disparaging comments about her skill set, but she’s adapted quickly to the game. She’s foiled three of my strategies this time alone, and at least two of those were intentional.
After the third time, I consider my move more closely and continue the conversation. “My connection with you surprised and overwhelmed me. I tried to deny it and avoid you, but that did nothing about the connection itself, and it also did the additional duty of hurting you, which I regret.”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not. I wish you wouldn’t be so blasé about people hurting you.”
Catalina appears to abandon her strategy, moving a piece at random. “It’s one of those things you get used to. Most of the time, they’re just being careless rather than malicious. My feelings are my own problem, or that’s what my last therapist said.” She makes a face. “Or maybe it was the opposite. I really don’t get therapist-speak sometimes. Maybe that’s why therapy never works for me.”