Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 65116 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65116 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Now, we were a million miles apart.
She still despised me for what I did. My infidelity was a sign of betrayal, a stab to the back. We were so close, and just when we got closer, I pushed her so far away that she never wanted to come back. The unconditional love that used to be in her eyes was long gone, like the sun that set over the horizon. Sometimes there were hints it was still there, but in the end, it was just the memory of the sun’s rays that reflected in my mind.
My behavior had been thoughtless and stupid. It was that much stupider because I didn’t even want to sleep with anyone else. I’d forced myself to do it just to make a point…even though I didn’t even remember what that point was. When faced with something as intimate as Arwen’s feelings, I didn’t have the capacity to accept it. Anytime I had ever loved anyone, I lost them. The more you cared, the more you had to lose. I’d liked our relationship the way it was, and I didn’t want it to change.
But it changed anyway.
Now a wedding ring sat on my left hand, and I was committed to one woman for the rest of my life. Well, as long as she would have me. This was supposed to be a means to an end, but somehow it became very real.
Arwen was really my wife—not just on paper.
Now, I wished I could go back in time and punch myself in the face instead of picking up those women.
I understood why she was upset about it. I understood why she didn’t look at me the same. But I wanted her forgiveness anyway.
After her silence had lasted several days, I returned to her room in the hope of a conversation. Even if she just wanted to tell me off, I preferred that over her lack of communication. The bedroom door was open, so I stepped inside.
She sat on the couch and wrote in a small notebook. Her pen danced across the pages as she added her words with beautiful penmanship. The format of the lines resembled a poem, so I wondered if she was writing a story.
I let myself inside and allowed my footsteps to announce my presence.
She tore her gaze away from her notebook and looked at me. As if no time had passed at all, she was still ice-cold.
I could talk about the distance between us, but since that had failed so many times, I decided to focus on something else. “What are you working on?”
Her body had been rigid just moments before, and it took a few seconds for her to relax. There would be no interrogation about our relationship, and that made her thaw just a bit. “A song.”
She didn’t invite me, but I took a seat in the armchair across from her. “Can I hear it?”
“It’s not done. These are just the lyrics. I don’t have any music for it.”
“How’s it coming along?”
She closed the notebook and capped the pen. “Pretty well until you came along.”
I missed the camaraderie we used to share. We were friends and allies. I would even say she was my closest friend. But that comfortable relationship had been replaced by standoffish expressions and cold comments. “I talked to my father the other day.”
She set the notebook on the counter beside her. “How’d that go?”
I shrugged. “He’s still a psychopath…”
“Some people never change, huh?” She tossed the pen on top, and it rolled toward the edge of the table.
“Seems that way.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I just wanted to talk to her, even if we discussed a subject I hated. “He doesn’t make any sense. He told you to come back to me because that’s what I needed. But he also still intends to kill you. His warped mind can separate the two like they’re distinctly different when they aren’t.”
“I don’t understand it either.” She crossed her legs and rested her fingertips against her lips. It was a cool evening, so she was in black leggings and a loose-fitting sweater while the gas fire roared in the hearth underneath the TV. Her hair was styled, but her makeup was gone. She looked ready for bed, and that was when she looked the most hypnotizing. The fatigue in her eyes was sexy. Her body was relaxed and should have been draped over something—like me. She became more vulnerable, too tired to fight any obstacle that might get in her way. If she was dressed like that, then that meant she was cold sleeping without me.
Maybe I should take all the covers off her bed so she’d be forced to sleep with me…or freeze.
“When he came to the bar, I was surprised by everything he said. It was the only time I’ve ever heard him say something nice about you.”