Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 132512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
“He’s how Zeb found us. He’d left him a trail of messages made with pebbles, even about us taking him to the orphanage.” Ned sighed. “He changed his mind along the way, but was afraid to tell us the truth. It’s why he wanted someone else to take him instead. To protect us.”
Cole slid off the desk and rested both hands on his hips. “So he’s been lying to us all this time?” he asked, starting to pace.
Ned walked over to the door, as if he were afraid Cole might storm out and shoot the kid dead. “I guess you could put it that way, but he’s just a child.”
“Yeah, and children are supposed to be the innocent ones, yet here we are!” Cole said, unsettled despite knowing that Tommy didn’t have bad intentions. Why would he have outright trusted two perfect strangers who, he’d been told, murdered his father? His behavior made perfect sense, but the truth still tore at the fondness Cole had developed toward him.
If Zeb hadn’t announced himself earlier and straight-up shot Ned and Cole in the heads, Tommy’s intentions wouldn’t have mattered. They were only discussing them because Zeb had made the same mistake he had that first time.
Ned spread his arms. “I think he’s learned his lesson. He didn’t have to tell me any of this now that Zeb’s dead, but he did, because it gnawed at his conscience.”
“Everyone always has reasons to push others off the cliff,” Cole said and adjusted his bandana in an effort to do something with hands that struggled to stay still. He itched to move them through the air, and have some damn peace on his own, without another man staring at him.
“This isn’t about us,” Ned insisted.
“Everything is about us!” Cole hissed before he could think and turned on his heel, walking to the boarded-up window. He wished there was something he could see on the other side, just to pretend that he wasn’t hiding his face from Ned.
“There is no us anymore, so it’s not. You said your piece, I said mine, so stop scratching at it. There comes a time where a man has to move on. Just promise you won’t hurt the kid.”
Cole had gotten his answer, even if he hadn’t asked for it. There would be no traveling together with the circus and no forgiveness. He only noticed that he’d bitten his lip when it started bleeding. “Jesus, Ned. I spared you. Of course I’ll spare the kid. I’m done with this. With revenge. And with people. They always disappoint me anyway,” he said and walked up to the tin of photographs left on the desk before carrying it back to his things.
“I’ll go get Tommy,” Ned muttered, but Cole was quick to stop him.
“No, I’ll go. I want to talk to him.”
Ned shook his head. “Fine. You know what? I think I’ll sleep in the other room. See you in the morning. Should be safe enough to travel by then.”
Cole didn’t bother answering him and hurried out of the office, stepping ever farther away from the growing rift between them. The vast production area seemed as dark as the deep cave the gang had once camped in, but the railing led him all the way to the stairs, and by the time he descended, his eyes picked up Tommy’s silhouette alongside Dog’s.
He intended to talk with the boy, but his head was empty of ideas to start that conversation, so he ended up trying to whistle Dog’s name. It came out as an embarrassing whiff, but what was he to do? He’d never learn how to do this, not even if Ned O’Leary promised to always stay true.
Tommy and Dog looked up at him at the same time, but the boy seemed wary, a child who’d feared many adults in his life even though his mother had surely loved him. But when Cole gestured for him to approach, Tommy obeyed.
There was no good way to do this, so Cole scooted down and chose to be upfront. “Ned told me the truth.”
Tommy froze at first, but then his whole body scrunched, innocent face twisting with guilt.
[I’m sorry], he signed, and once Cole spotted tears in his eyes, everything was forgiven. Because what else could he do? The boy was fighting for survival the best way he knew and shouldn’t be blamed for it.
“It’s all right. Everyone wants to be safe. That’s normal,” Cole said and reached out to him.
[Don’t hate me] Tommy had to sign twice, because the movements of his hands had been too frantic at first, but when he was sure Cole understood, he uttered a deep sob and fell to his knees.
“I don’t hate you. You’re only a boy,” Cole said and pulled Tommy close.
The moment the short arms hugged him back, sadness descended on Cole like an avalanche held back with a gate of rotten wood. Tightening his hold on Tommy, he looked up, staring at the empty space above as if it were the reflection of his soul.