Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 119212 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 596(@200wpm)___ 477(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119212 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 596(@200wpm)___ 477(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
I drew in a breath, closing my eyes.
I needed to channel everything.
It wasn’t staying in the back of my head.
I felt Melanie looking at me. She was worried, too.
I had those drinks earlier, and no wonder my anxiety was starting to take over.
I had to do something.
Be something…I was shifting.
My shirt felt like it was suffocating me.
I was cold and hot all at the same time.
More people were coming in behind us, and I squawked as I moved aside. They all gave me weird looks.
Everyone was looking.
They all knew.
Knew I was crazy. That I was insane.
I’d hear the whispers.
I’d be asked to leave.
I pressed my mouth shut so I didn’t make any more sounds. This happened, too. Too much stimulus, and I couldn’t read the right cues. I’d say something when I shouldn’t, answer a question that was asked five questions ago, and the looks. More looks.
People didn’t like what they couldn’t understand.
It scared them.
They couldn’t understand me.
I heard Melanie saying something to Cassie, and suddenly an arm wound around my shoulders.
I tensed, but it was Melanie, and she was pulling me against her.
She was my anchor.
My hand found hers, hiding between our bodies, and I clung hard.
She squeezed me back. “Head down, babe. We’ll go somewhere you can handle. I’m sorry.”
No, no. I wanted to tell her I had regular seats, that this would’ve happened there, too.
I should’ve taken my meds.
Why had I forgotten them?
I kept my head down a little bit. We were walking down a hallway, past people. The lights were overwhelming. A new person popped out of a room, and kept popping out, and popping out. They were all saying hi to Cassie.
She was loved here.
But now she was worried, too, casting a small frown over her shoulder at us.
Melanie was covering for me, her head almost ridiculously high to make up for my own. Her shoulders were as wide as she could make them, and she was holding me almost under her arm. Cold sweat was running down my back, but this wasn’t my first rodeo.
I could fake it…and I was.
My mouth was pressed tight, but I was smiling and gave a small head dip to people who were turned toward us. Even if they didn’t say a word, I gave them a small smile, just in case. And then we were through a back door and going up stairs.
The lights were darker.
Cement floors.
The echoes from Melanie’s heels were like firecrackers being set off.
Cassie had sneakers on. Nice and comfortable and silent sneakers. And her clothing was quiet, too, except I could hear the soft rubbing of her sleeve against her Mustangs’ jacket. Still, it wasn’t as loud as Melanie’s leather skirt or those heels.
She asked my opinion.
I told her then it was ‘dead sexy,’ and now I was rethinking my terminology.
No. It still looked sexy.
Cassie liked it. She was looking at it, but there were rings of worry around her mouth, too.
But then Melanie was talking to her. She must’ve told a joke. I’d probably hear it in thirty seconds when it caught up to the chaos in my head.
Cassie was laughing, and she relaxed.
Melanie was such a good friend, because she was shielding me as best she could, but Cassie wasn’t detecting it.
Melanie was making Cassie think she had it under control, that her nutso friend would be fine.
Nutso.
Weirdo.
Street chick.
It’s funny because those words were coming back to me now. I was an adult, but they were words I’d been called when I was in high school. They’d bounced off me then. Why were the simple memories of those words and phrases penetrating now?
We were through another door, on a higher floor, and things were muted, but I could still hear, see, feel, sense, taste, and again…why had I forgotten my damn meds? Stop it, Cheyenne. Deal with it. It’s not your first time here, and it won’t be your last.
Recognize the chaos.
Know there’ll be chaos.
Look straight and try to find your tunnel.
“This will be a lot quieter, promise.”
Cassie’s words came from a distance.
Melanie was chuckling right into my ear, and then a door was being unlocked, opened, and we were inside.
I almost wept from relief. The floors were carpeted. That helped the intensity of everything so much.
There were leather couches. Leather chairs. A few high-top tables.
A bar in the corner, and Cassie was nodding to the guy standing there. They spoke to each other, their heads bent together, and he nodded before leaving.
I never knew about these boxes. And we were so high up, but I needed to pull myself together.
I stepped away from Melanie and she frowned at me.
I patted her arm. “Give me a bit. Go and flirt, have fun.”
“You sure?”
I nodded, even though that sent everything spinning once again.
I needed a new anchor. It wasn’t fair to put that on Melanie. “Go.” I motioned, then threw a warm and fake grin to Cassie. “I’m going to sit for a spell.”