Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 106346 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 532(@200wpm)___ 425(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106346 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 532(@200wpm)___ 425(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
“I know,” she says, and she holds her hands together.
“I met Andrew when I was sixteen, and I thought he hung the moon and stars.” I try to swallow, and I’m suddenly sweating. “And at seventeen, I got pregnant. I’m not going to lie. You think that at that age nothing can touch you. It’s never going to happen to you.”
“It takes one time.” She laughs.
“My family kicked me out. I basically had to choose between my child, who I loved with everything that I had even though he was just a little pea”—I brush a tear away—“or my parents.”
“Oh, Caroline,” she says.
“Andrew was supposed to be the it thing. He played football and he was the best quarterback out there, and he got picked up by the biggest university. With that came housing if we were married, so in a small ceremony, we got married. Then he got hurt junior year. Sacked in the stomach, and when the guy landed on him, he crushed his ACL.” My hands start to shake. “I didn’t know he was on drugs. I was a new mom with no help, and Dylan had colic. If he was around, he was moody and angry, and I just thought that it was because he was frustrated.”
“Caroline,” she whispers, “you don’t have to do this.”
“But I want to,” I say. “I have to. You were the first woman Justin ever loved.” She smiles, and the tears roll down her cheeks. “When I finally realized what was going on, he was too far gone, and I was already going down that black hole with him. I have never done one drug in my whole life, but then, I owed over fifty thousand dollars in credit card debt, six months of rent, and let's not forget about the dealers that he kept taking shit from and never repaying.” I close my eyes.
“I came home one day, and he was on the couch fucking our landlady because he didn’t have rent.” Parker gasps. “Three months later when he came home and was coming down from his high, I told him he had to sign a paper so I could get extra diapers from the church. I lied. They were divorce papers that I got online, and the next day, I filed them at the court, and just like that, without him knowing, I cut the tie I had to him. But I still had Dylan, and I tried to shield him and, well, protect him from what his father was. I think I did a pretty good job.”
“No!” Parker almost screams. “You did an amazing job. He’s wonderful and kind and smart. But the best thing he has is his heart of gold. You can’t teach that.”
“I tried to pay off the bills, but whenever I got ahead, Andrew would come around, and well, he would take and steal, and he just kept pushing me down. I moved six times and tried not to let him find me, but when you have a low income, there are only certain places you can rent, and he knew them all. I know that I’m not what you wanted for your son. I know that you want someone who doesn’t have all this baggage and problems. You guys have a family that people dream about. You love and support each other, and when push comes to shove, you guys go to war for each other, and well, then you have me. It’s just me and Dylan, just the two of us.” I cry now. “But I love him so, so much. I didn’t think I could love someone this much. I wanted to run and give him a chance to find someone better.” I look down. “You protect the ones you love. And I love him with everything I have to give, which isn’t much.”
“But to him, it’s everything,” Parker says. “I’m not going to lie to you. We were scared for him. Andrew is not stable, and that has nothing to do with you. But as a mom …”
“You want your kids safe no matter how old they are,” I fill in for her. “I can’t walk away from him.” I shake my head. “But I don’t want him to have to choose between me and his family.”
“He won’t have to choose.” Parker now comes to me and takes me in her arms. I sob when she hugs me. “He’ll never have to choose. You and Dylan are a part of him, and my boys know what they want.”
“He’s stubborn,” I say, laughing. “And annoying.”
“Oh, honey, it’s going to get so much worse.” She laughs. I step away from her and go to the bathroom, grabbing some toilet paper for us.
“He almost forbade me from going to work today,” I say, and she laughs when she dabs her eyes. “Which is even more annoying, since he was right.”