Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 96284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 481(@200wpm)___ 385(@250wpm)___ 321(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 481(@200wpm)___ 385(@250wpm)___ 321(@300wpm)
I got it. I understood his worries. He’d spent his entire childhood—not to mention a fair share of his adult years too—bending to his mother’s will. The abuse had been so invisible at times that he hadn’t noticed it until years later when a therapist had gotten involved.
I was never gonna forget the man he’d been eight years ago. Pretty new to LA, eyes wide, a little sheltered, kinda lost and confused. He’d observed so much. I wasn’t sure if he’d been aware of that, but I’d caught him studying people he didn’t understand. When we’d worked at that gay club…? Sometimes, he’d just stood there and stared. Like he was trying to make shit make sense.
“I want you to keep Colin in mind.” I touched his cheek briefly. “Whatever your ma tells you, picture yourself saying that to our little Jake Junior. If it feels wrong and turns your stomach, chances are your mother is a piece of shit.”
He flashed a quick smile at my beautifully put poetic advice, and he shifted in his seat to face me fully. “Are you sure you wanna come with me?”
The microwave beeped.
Was he serious?
“Jake, I’m honestly not letting you go alone.”
It was bad enough he insisted I stay put at a nearby coffee place. I hadn’t bothered making hotel reservations; he wouldn’t wanna stay.
He turned pensive and looked down at my hand next to his on the island top. “Do you worry I’mma fall back too? That I’ll return to shame and embarrassment?”
Oh hell, he couldn’t think that. “No, baby… That’s not it at all.” I grabbed his hand in both of mine and kissed his knuckles. “I’m worried they’re gonna hurt you.” Haley’s reaction to Jake coming out had put me on high alert. “For a man who’s had problems expressing his feelings, you care so incredibly deeply. And it wasn’t that many years ago you were defending your parents. You have a sense of loyalty not many people have.”
He looked down.
I stepped between his legs and hugged him, and I kissed the side of his head.
He let out a breath and squeezed my middle. “It’s for my grandfather too. Why I’m doin’ this. He…” He swallowed hard. “I’ve thought about him a lot. I mean—it just kills me that he probably sacrificed a big part of himself to go back to my grandmother.”
I sighed. Of course. Of course Jake was thinking about him. It hadn’t even occurred to me. That old hag had supposedly forbidden Jake’s grandfather from seeing their kids. Something about a separation, right? I didn’t remember the specifics, but he had left. He’d separated from the grandmother from hell, and he’d had that picture taken of him and another man. During that time, he hadn’t been allowed to see his kids. And back in those days…? A simple threat of outing a gay person could silence them forever.
I scratched Jake’s scalp gently, and he lifted his head.
I dipped down and kissed him. “You’re doing the right thing, and I will be five minutes away in total agony.”
He smiled into the kiss. “With the car key in hand?”
“You know it.” I pecked him a few times and hoped, for his sake, I didn’t get sick. I was much worse than him. “I love you.”
He hummed. “Love you.”
I yawned.
I checked the time.
9:52 AM
Fucking layovers in fucking Atlanta…
But now we were in Norfolk.
As we walked past baggage claim, I made a hotel reservation in DC and let them know it would be a late check-in. Tomorrow, we’d stop by in New York to celebrate my uncle’s birthday with stellar Rangers tickets. But before then, I wanted Jake to be able to relax.
I texted my nephew Crew as well, reminding him to tidy up our condo. He stayed there when he was home on leave. Truth be told, I hoped he got out of the Marines soon. He’d expressed feeling restless and bored last time we’d talked, and a bored Marine was never a good thing, much less a bored Finlay.
A text from Nikki popped up.
Have you landed yet? Haley and I vote for frequent updates. We got the earliest appointment for the kids to get their hair cut, and then we’re getting pancakes. Text or call whenever! xo
I responded to her a while later when we waited for our rental.
Come on… I couldn’t deal with computer issues now. Just get our SUV. It was parked right outside.
The guy gave me an apologetic look. “Sorry, sir, it should work now.”
“No problem.” I leaned against the counter and glanced over at Jake.
He was eyeing happy stock-photo models on the wall by a sad-looking fern.
I had it all planned out. Unbeknownst to Jake, I’d packed two of his cameras. Taking photos centered him, so I’d figured we could find some scenic route on our way to DC. I’d pick up a couple subs on the way, a few donuts, coffee. Right out into nature.