Total Chaos (Love and Lyrics #3) Read Online Nikki Ash

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Drama, Erotic, Romance Tags Authors: Series: Love and Lyrics Series by Nikki Ash
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Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79553 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
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“I agree,” Layla adds. “Would you rather be alone in California or with your family and friends?”

I know they’re all right, but it’s just so unfair to Declan. Not only is he about to be surrounded by his married friends, who are all happily growing their families, but he’s going to have to be around the woman who hurt him.

“I’ll think about it,” I tell everyone noncommittally. “I better get going.”

After saying goodbye to everyone, I head out with Evan. When we arrive at Kyle’s place, I quickly find out that he’s not home. Not wanting to leave without speaking to him, I have Evan drive over to Kyle’s office. It’s really the only other place he would be since he’s such a workaholic.

Since I know the code to get into the building from when we were together, I input it into the elevator and take it up to the floor his office is located on, telling Evan to wait in the lobby for me. He isn’t thrilled, but I think it’d be better to tell my ex-fiancé that he’s about to be a father to twins without an audience.

Leaving Evan standing by, I walk down the hall to where I know Kyle’s office is located. I hear a voice, telling me he’s here, which isn’t all that shocking. The man would live here if he could. He’s probably making calls, something he often did on Sundays if I didn’t demand he take the day off.

As I get closer, the voices get a bit louder, and I wonder if maybe he’s not alone. That or he’s on speaker. Regardless, since I’m already here, and he has me blocked, I should still proceed, so I can at least ask him to unblock me so we can talk when he’s alone.

Even though the door is partially open, to be polite, I raise my hand to knock when my eyes land on the inside of his office, giving me the perfect view of Kyle thrusting into a woman who’s bent over his desk, begging him to fuck her harder.

Her eyes meet mine, and something in me snaps as visions and images flood my brain.

A little over three months ago

Kyle: I’m sorry I can’t make it tonight. Ross gave me an important project to work on. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. I promise.

I toss my phone onto the table, annoyed. This is the same excuse he’s given me the past several Saturdays. I’m sick of his job coming first. I get that he’s ambitious, but I’m not sure I want to be married to a man who’s married to his job. I understand it firsthand, as I’ve spent years married to my music career, but at thirty-one years old, I’m ready to settle down and start a family. Do I really want to do that with a man who can’t give me one night a week of his time?

Deciding that the only way for him to understand where I’m coming from is to speak to him, I head to his office. On the way, I stop at the deli we both like and pick up dinner since he’s probably been too busy to eat.

When I get up to his office, the place is quiet, save for a couple of voices coming from Kyle’s office. I’ll just knock and let him know I’m here in case he’s in a meeting and will be a while.

Only when I get to his door, I find it ajar, and the important project he’s working on is Britney, his boss’s daughter and colleague. She’s bent over his desk as he fucks her from behind. In shock from the visual in front of me, I gasp, which has both of them looking up. Britney smirks while Kyle flinches.

“What the hell?” I shriek. “If you didn’t want to be with me, why didn’t you just say so?” I chuck the bag at them, and it breaks open, the food flying everywhere. “Fuck you!” Unable to look at him and not wanting to cry in front of her, I fly out of the office.

“Kendall, wait!” Kyle yells, but I’m already in the elevator with the doors closing.

I should’ve known… Deep down, I think I always did, but I was so caught up in wanting to have what my family has that I chose to ignore all the red flags.

Only once I’m safely in the car do I allow the tears to fall. I can feel my phone buzzing in my pocket, but I ignore it since there’s nothing Kyle can say or do that’ll make this right. Honestly, he’s done me a favor by saving me from entering a marriage that shouldn’t be taking place.

So then why am I crying?

Because once again, I wasn’t enough. I wasn’t the woman Kyle wanted or needed. I tried to be everything he needed, even took time off work and put him first, but it still wasn’t enough. I’m never enough. Just like I wasn’t enough for my sperm donor. Because I’m broken. And unlike when you’re little and can still play with the toys that aren’t perfect, nobody wants to play with the woman who’s damaged beyond repair.


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