Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 75481 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75481 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
“I get it, okay? You’re all noble and protective.” I used air quotes. “But that doesn’t change how I feel, and if I don’t leave, it’ll only be harder—”
“If you walk away now”—he gripped his stomach as if he was going to puke—“I’m not sure I can survive it.”
“Okay, Mr. Dramatic. You were my boss, and I was your employee. We worked together, became friends, and we’ve hooked up too, but you’re making it sound like we’ve been in a relationship. And I know you don’t want anything to do with a relationship. You’ve made that clear plenty of times, haven’t you?”
“Because relationships are all shit, at least for me.” His eyes were slits as he mumbled, “Sure, what we’ve shared feels good now, but soon enough—”
“Christ, give me more credit.” I clenched my jaw. “For the record, there is no shame in being a side. None. You need to own your boundaries and preferences. Instead, you see it as a crutch, and that says more about you than anyone else.” I stood up. “I know Brett hurt you, but that only means he wasn’t worthy of you. Maybe something to think about.”
His face grew panicked as he gripped his chest. “If you leave, you’ll take my heart with you. You’ll take my whole heart, and I’ll only have a black, vacant hole where it used to be.”
My entire body trembled at his words.
Did he even know what the hell he was saying? I wasn’t so sure as he shut his eyes and leaned his head against the bench.
“How about this: tell me all about your heart when you’re not smashed. I’ll be home in a week, and if you trust what you’re saying, then maybe I’ll hear from you.”
When there was no response, I knew he’d passed out. Fuck.
My gaze met Beth’s, and I signaled to her to call for a ride.
“Already done.” She motioned behind me as a car pulled up to the curb. Yeah, she’d do just fine in her new job. I helped her get Rowan in the car as he mumbled a bunch of gibberish.
“Shae…you’re here,” he said, patting my cheek. Good God, he was drunk. “You brought the sunshine back with you.”
This man was going to be the death of me.
“Don’t hold it against him,” I said to Beth as she slipped in beside him, and then I watched as the car pulled away from the curb.
“Uh-oh, you look like someone killed your cat,” Casey said as I came through the door. He was actually home alone and watching a movie. “You should be happy. It was your last day of work for the obnoxious Rowan Abernathy.”
“I don’t know anymore…everything feels so messy.” I shoved out of my shoes and sank down beside him on the couch.
He nudged my shoulder. “Hey, talk to me.”
I told him about the bar and what Drunk Rowan said to me.
He winced. “He wouldn’t be saying that stuff just to get you to stay, right?”
“He wouldn’t! Ugh, it feels like nothing makes sense anymore.” I scrubbed my hand over my face. “What if he really feels that way about me?” Kendall had said as much. But that didn’t mean Rowan wanted to act on it.
Casey frowned. “I just wish it hadn’t taken you leaving for him to see the light.”
“That’s what bothers me. What if it’s not real?” I leaned my head back and shut my eyes.
“I’ll miss you, but it’s good you’re going home.” He pressed his shoulder against mine. “You need to get your head in order.”
He wasn’t wrong. The trip couldn’t come soon enough.
26
It was good being back in Missouri, but after a few days, I’d admit I was bored. I missed how the buzz of the city made it feel alive with possibility, and the slow pace of Stockton gave me too much time to think.
Stockton was located on a bluff above the Ozarks, eighty miles outside of St. Louis, and while the scenery was always pretty—I didn’t think I appreciated it enough growing up—there wasn’t much to do outside of being out in nature, and I’d had enough of that to last a lifetime.
Plus, my family was busy with the business, and though I was happy to see how much it had grown since I left, I was pretty much left to my own devices unless I asked to pitch in. Mom had me fold flyers with a discount code one afternoon, and at least it numbed my brain.
I considered contacting old friends, but outside of Casey, I didn’t feel like we had much in common anymore. In fact, I still stuck out like a sore thumb when I went into town to run an errand for my parents. It was the least I could do, and it helped the time pass more quickly. It also forced me to stop obsessively checking my phone for messages from Rowan, but I hadn’t heard a word since my last night in town.