Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 86556 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86556 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
“Me either. Fuck if I know—”
“We don’t have to know. Not yet. Just...stay a bit. Let us have this.” Dustin arranged them so that Wes was snuggled up against his side. Yup. World-class cuddler.
“I can stay.” Never had Wes meant words more, and never had they had so much uncertainty behind them.
* * *
“I need to go.”
Dustin squinted against the light, rolling over to the warm space where Wes had been moments earlier. At least he’d woken up this time, unlike when Wes had snuck out of the hotel. At least I get a goodbye.
“I know,” he said because he wasn’t going to be the guy to beg, not when it wouldn’t make any difference, not when it could put Wes at risk.
“Can’t believe you’re really leaving the team.” Wes sighed as he pulled on his jeans, them back where they’d started a few hours ago, Wes frustrated and him uncertain.
“It’s the right call.” He believed that now, more than ever.
“Yeah.” Wes sounded more resigned than anything else.
“I’ll wait.” Dustin hadn’t said the words earlier, maybe because neither of them had been ready to hear them. But, now, with the minutes creeping away, he couldn’t hold them back. “I’m going to wait for you. However long. Until you get out. If you stay in. Until the statute of limitations on the fraternization runs out. Whatever it takes, I’m waiting. I’m in this and I’m not going anywhere unless you ask me to leave you alone, and then I can do that too. But I’ll still be waiting. Hoping.”
“Not asking.” Still barefoot, Wes came to sit next to him on the bed. “I don’t want... I can’t imagine a life right now without you in it. But this isn’t going to be easy. For either of us. I mean, maybe you’d like a little freedom—”
“Fuck that noise.” Dustin cupped Wes’s face in his hand, forced him to look at him. “No desire to get out there and play the field. When I say I’m willing to wait, I mean it. You’re it for me. The one thing I never thought I’d find, and hell if I’m letting you go.”
“I don’t want to let you go either.” Wes’s eyes were big and liquid. “I...I’m not even sure when it happened. Maybe the first time you laughed at one of my stupid jokes. The first time we watched a show together instead of getting off. Maybe in DC. Or when you talked me down when I was so worried over Sam. I don’t even know. A zillion little moments. But...” Wes trailed off, like the words were simply too much for him.
But Dustin knew. “Me too. Exactly that. Not sure when or how or why, but I love you. So much. And I know it’s not going to be an easy road forward for us, but I love you. I want this to work. So, yeah. I’ll wait for you. Happily.”
“I love you.” Wes’s words had little more than air behind them. He ghosted a kiss across Dustin’s mouth. “And because I love you, I can’t tell you to put yourself at risk—”
“You’re not telling. I’m doing. And I’m not saying we get crazy. We be careful. But eventually, the day will come when we can be together, openly. And I’m going to hold on to that. Wait for it.”
“Openly.” Wes rolled the word around like he was testing it. “You mean that? That means—”
“Coming out. I told Dylan and Apollo that I’m bisexual.” He shrugged, laughing at himself at how much of a non-issue it had turned out to be. “World didn’t end. I’d be proud to claim you. To be with you, really with you. Show you off to my family. Friends.” His stupid eyes smarted. Fuck. Emotions were hard.
“I like that vision.” Wes smiled fondly. “My folks would love you too. Want you to meet Sam. Want...so much.”
“Then we’ll get it,” Dustin said firmly, putting every ounce of his conviction into the words. “We’ll make it happen.”
Wes waited a lifetime before answering, a lifetime where Dustin died a little, thinking maybe this wouldn’t be enough for Wes. Maybe he wouldn’t be enough. Maybe waiting—
“We’ll make it.” Wes nodded. “I want to believe that—”
“Then do it. Believe with me.” Dustin leaned in, kissing him softly before Wes could put conditions on his agreement. “Believe in us.”
“I will.” This time when Wes nodded, his conviction reached his eyes, the same determination Dustin had seen on his face on every mission.
They wouldn’t fail at this. This was one objective they would both meet, a no-win scenario they’d defeat by sheer force of will. They’d believe together, and it would be enough. Dustin felt it down to his bones. Sometimes a single yes, a simple promise was everything, a lifetime rewritten.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Seven months later
“Hey wait up.” Curly caught up with Wes right as he was about to exit the barracks.