Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
“She always said she only wanted to play college ball,” Gomez says. “What will she do now?”
“More work for the Alma Foundation. She wants to expand on the mental health thing and also start providing sports equipment to underprivileged kids.”
My heart swells with the same pride I hear in Damian’s voice as he speaks about Josslyn’s goals.
“Damn, good for her,” Gomez responds. “She’s gotten a lot of sponsorship deals.”
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure she’s still one of the highest paid college athletes,” Damian responds.
“I swear, breaking up with her was the stupidest shit I’ve ever done.”
Damian laughs. My hands freeze on my laces. I feel myself scowl and glance over my shoulder again. This time, I look at Max a little closer. He’s tall and dark-skinned, with light brown eyes and a buzz cut. He has a carefree smile and a wistful expression on his chiseled face that makes an uncomfortable feeling curl in the pit of my stomach. I’ve been trying to pretend Josslyn had no guys in her life before me, but I guess it’s unavoidable.
“Does she still hate when people call her Josie?”
Damian scoffs. “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t tried since the time she punched me in the nose.”
“Yeah, she gave me the silent treatment for two days when I did it,” Gomez says, smiling. “I heard a rumor that she’s dating Barlow now.”
I turn back around quickly and keep undressing.
“Yeah. It’s the happiest I’ve ever seen her,” Damian says. “No offense.”
“Nah, she deserves it.” Gomez laughs. “It was good to see you, brother. Let Joss know I asked about her.”
I reach for my phone. She’s been on my mind all day, as usual. The only reprieve I get from thoughts of her is during games, and even then, when I’m on the bench, I wonder if she’s watching from home, and if so, where she’s sitting and what she’s wearing. My smile drops and my stomach twists painfully when I unlock my phone and find a picture of my emails from Tom. Goddamnit. How am I going to explain this to her?
It’s only a fifteen-minute ride to the airport and our flight will take off shortly after we arrive, so I call Josslyn as soon as I get on the bus. I’ve tried to figure out what I’ll say to her, and keep coming up short. I can explain why I did it, but I can’t apologize for my actions. It would be equal to a lie, and I promised her I wouldn’t lie to her.
“Calling your girlfriend already?” Hamilton jokes, and laughs when I flash him my middle finger as I keep walking to the back of the bus.
“Hello?” she says. It’s noisy wherever she is.
“I got your texts.”
“Yeah.” She exhales. “Are you going to apologize?”
“No.”
She’s quiet for a moment. “You know what, I respect that.”
“Are you upset?”
“About the stalking? What do you think?”
I sit down and shut my eyes as I lean against the wall. “Where are you?”
“I just got home from practice,” she says, moving further from the noise. “There’s a mom with like six kids in the lobby right now. All under ten. It’s insane.”
I feel my lips tug. “Do you want kids?”
“Yeah.” Her tone makes me uneasy, but I’m afraid to address it.
“How many?” I ask instead.
“I’m not sure. I guess it depends on who I have them with.”
My eyes pop open as a wave of anger rushes through me. It takes me a moment to push it down. Every time she says things like that or suggests I might want to date someone else at some point, I want to shake her. I don’t know what else to say or do to make her see that there will be no one else. Ever.
“I told Theo I’m going to be your last boyfriend. You can’t have me lying to a kid,” I say, hoping it sounds like a joke despite the pressure on my chest.
“Sorry to break it to you, but he’s rooting against you.”
I roll my eyes. At myself. At the kid. I don’t even know anymore. Everything about this conversation is off-putting.
“Are you at my place or yours?” I ask when I hear a door open and shut.
Another sore subject. I’ve been asking her to move in with me every day and she still hasn’t caved, even though we’ve only slept apart a handful of times.
“Mine. Livie’s supposed to come over soon,” she says, her voice still drawn. Distant. I can’t fucking stand it.
“Are you going to leave me?” I ask quietly, as I screw my eyes shut and hold my breath, waiting for her response.
“Leave you?”
“Yes.”
Another pause. “What would you do if I said yes?”
My chest squeezes painfully. “I don’t know, Josslyn.” I swallow hard. “Cry.” I let out a short laugh. “Scream. Get on my knees and beg you to reconsider.”