Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
“You’re not stupid,” I repeat, kissing her. “You’re beautiful.” I kiss her again. “And kind.” Another kiss. “And loving.” Another kiss. “And mine.”
“Would you let me go through your phone right now?” she asks, her voice wavering.
“Yes,” I say, no hesitation.
She pulls away further and studies my face. “Really?”
I reach for my phone on the nightstand, hand it to her, and give her my passcode. She blinks rapidly a few times, as if she can’t believe I’m trusting her with this, which annoys me to no end, but I don’t let it show. Fuck Tate for planting seeds of doubt in her head. I watch as she goes through my texts, which are boring as fuck. She glances at me and the spark of amusement in her eyes makes my stomach dip.
“Am I the only one you have normal conversations with?”
“Probably.”
Next, she opens my social media accounts and looks at my DMs, which I rarely check, let alone respond to. Her face pulls in disgust.
“Some of these women are so desperate,” she says. “They’re hot though. You really never respond to any of them?”
“No.”
“Why?” she asks, frowning at me.
“Why would I?”
“I mean before me,” she clarifies.
“Paranoia, I guess.”
“How were you finding your one-night stands?”
I raise an eyebrow. “Despite what you believe, I didn’t fuck my way through Vegas. Most were models or sex workers I met at events or nights out.”
“Really?” she asks, her surprise obvious. When I don’t say anything, she adds, “I’m not judging. I’m just surprised. According to that account with the sneaky pictures of you, you used to take them out to eat.”
“Sex workers eat too, you know.” I feel myself smile when she rolls her eyes. “But you’re right. The women in those pictures are family and people I work with.”
“Even the blonde?” she asks, pursing her lips.
Maybe it’s messed up, but my heart skips a beat at the thought of her being jealous. Nevertheless, I’m quick to put her at ease. “The blonde is my cousin Asher’s wife. She works on the strip, so we’d grab lunch sometimes.”
“Is Asher the soccer player?”
“Was. He coaches the professional team in Vegas now.”
She goes back to my phone. “I’m not judging, but why sex workers? Is it just easier since you know there’s no expectations with them?”
“Pretty much. To them, I’m just a job assignment,” I say.
“And the models?”
“They aren’t looking for anything serious.” I shrug.
“What about the woman who snuck into your apartment?”
“We met at a party. I got paranoid after that experience.”
She glances up from my phone. “Is that why you’ve never had sex without a condom?”
“That, and I don’t trust anyone. The thought of getting some random woman pregnant and being stuck with them forever is not appealing.”
She frowns. “But you and I—”
“I know,” I interrupt, cupping her face. “I don’t mind being stuck with you for an eternity.”
The surprise on her face as she searches my eyes kills me. I lean in and kiss her again just because I can, and fuck, what a privilege. She goes back to my phone. After searching and searching for something she’ll never find, she tosses it on the bed and lays her head back down. I do the same and turn when she faces me.
“Do you think you still would have pursued me if we’d gone all the way at Onyx that night?”
That’s something I think about often, and always come up with the same answer. “I think so. You’ve always been an outlier. No one else exists when you’re around.”
“Finn,” she whispers, blinking fast.
I smooth her hair away from her face. “Are you going to tell me not to say things like that?”
“No.” She scoots closer. “I was going to tell you that I love you.”
For a moment, time stops. My heart feels like it’s going to burst in my chest. The emotion is so overwhelming—so powerful—that I’m not sure I’ll survive it. How can anyone? I pull her against me and search her face for a sign that she’s joking, that she’s going to take it back. Because even though I knew I felt that way, and I had a feeling she might, hearing her say it is unreal. She’s unreal.
“No one’s ever said that to me,” I manage to say despite the emotion that clogs my throat.
Her smile is slow and beautiful. “Then I’ll make sure to tell you every single day.”
Fuck. I shut my eyes trying to regain a semblance of composure. When I open them, I find her watching me with that warmth I want to cocoon myself in.
“I love you, Josslyn,” I say, smiling when her eyes widen as if she wasn’t expecting to hear the words from me. “I love you so fucking much.”
I kiss her again, wishing we could stay in this bubble forever.
53
JOSSLYN
I’m trying to follow the direction of the man’s screams as I run through the corn maze, but I hear him everywhere and it’s impossible to know what direction to go in. He yells again, as if he’s in agony, and I pick up the pace.