Total pages in book: 213
Estimated words: 201920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1010(@200wpm)___ 808(@250wpm)___ 673(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 201920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1010(@200wpm)___ 808(@250wpm)___ 673(@300wpm)
Angie pauses for a second and then laughs, loud and unrestrained. She shrugs, slipping on the first heel and then the second. “The perv wanted to hire me,” she says and looks up at me as she continues, “and I had to pay my rent.”
One point for honesty, I suppose. “Fair enough.” I can’t argue with that. Pushing on my thighs, I force myself to stand up and stack the piles, so I can get back to filing tomorrow and not lose my place. As I’m setting a generic glass paperweight on the stack, Angie asks me if I want a ride.
My heart does a somersault, the weirdest movement as the jitters set through me. It’s been like this on and off all day.
I’m going to go to Sebastian.
Sebastian Black is going to fuck me tonight. All the anxiety and nerves mix in the pit of my stomach. Maybe if I keep telling myself it’s just sex, my heart will start believing it.
“I’m good; I’m going to walk.” I think I do a good job at keeping the nerves out of my voice, but I have to stare at the stack instead of looking at her.
I can feel her eyes on me though, and when I peek up, looking as innocently as I can at the only woman I’ve ever met who owns her sexuality like she does, she asks, “You sure?”
That little place between her eyebrows is scrunched and I’m sure she can tell something’s off, but I’m not telling her shit. Not. One. Word. I don’t want advice; I don’t want to hear stories. Worse, I don’t want her to tell me the list of women he’s screwed. She has a habit of doing that whenever a man’s name comes up. She’s a walking encyclopedia of all things sexual and provocative.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I tell her nonchalantly, and her expression tells me that she isn’t buying any of it, but she doesn’t ask again. She grips the doorway once, looking between the pile of papers I refuse to take my eyes from and then back up to my face.
“See you tomorrow then?” she asks and then adds, “You’re not going to take another mini vacay, right?”
The smile she gets from me is genuine. “Your concern is adorable,” I tell her and roll my eyes before adding, “but no, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“All right, sweet cheeks,” she says while tapping the doorway, “See you in the morning.”
“Have a good night, Buttercup,” I tell her and then scrunch my nose at Buttercup. I could have come up with something better, but the more I let it sit, the more I like it.
I listen to her heels as she walks out and then immediately grab my bag and head out the back, rather than the front. The stairwell is all concrete steps down the back, which is why no one ever leaves this way, but it heads to the north part of the city, where the butcher shop is.
My fingers feel sweaty as I pull my purse onto my shoulder, the nerves kicking into high gear.
Every step I get closer to him, I get more nervous about each detail.
I don’t have sexy lingerie, but I can wait for him naked.
I didn’t pack all of my makeup yesterday when he brought me back to his place, only my mascara, so that’s all I have to work with.
I have to clear my throat to get the knot out of it as I get closer. I know he’s working, and he told me to come to him when I was done, so I am.
Part of me recognizes how… docile I’m being. The only thing that keeps me moving forward and only mildly second-guessing all of this, is how easy Bastian is making it for me. He’s not giving me hard glares until I look away. He isn’t pretending I don’t exist. He isn’t ignoring me.
Something changed and I don’t know what, but he still makes me feel safe. He always has. I may be crazy in other ways. But I know what I’ve felt for Sebastian for years has merit. There’s something real between us, and that’s not a white lie. And I wish one of us would have the courage to say it out loud because deep down I know that neither of us can deny it.
I don’t know if they’ll let me stay here now that my uncle’s dead. He died last week and right before my eighteenth birthday. The lawyer said he willed everything to me, but with the debt he left behind, they may have to take the house from me to put into the estate.
And then I’ll have no one and nowhere to go.
Those are the thoughts that keep me up tonight even though I know school will come tomorrow. I can’t keep skipping class, so I need to sleep, but I can’t.