Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 103721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
My stomach clenches, my heart slams into my ribs, and I feel as if my skin might shatter from how tight it is, but I don’t give a shit. Thinking isn’t even an option at this point. No, all I can do is feel every inch of his mouth move along mine in an assault I have yearned for. He is the last guy I kissed, and now I know why that is.
He ruined me for everyone.
Neither of us touches the other, probably because we know we’ll never stop. No, it’s just our lips in a tangled dance of lust. He strokes his tongue along the roof of my mouth, and I moan ever so loudly. I should be embarrassed, but when he grins against my mouth, all I want is more. I go to move into him, but then I stop.
What am I doing?
Ground rules. I need fucking ground rules.
He knows I’ve hesitated, and when I pull back, he’s already glaring. “I’m pretty sure I don’t want to hear what you’re gonna say next.”
Probably not, but that doesn’t stop me. “What are you doing?”
His eyes flash with frustration. “I was kissing the fuck out of you, but then you stopped, probably thinking too much, which really does nothing for my ego.”
“Why, though? This is supposed to be an arrangement, and if we are going to bring sex to the table, we need to discuss it first.”
When he takes my jaw in his hand, I gasp, my eyes widening as his nose comes closer to mine, his eyes molten. His grip is so tight it stings, but I know he isn’t doing it to hurt me. “Focus, my beauty—”
“I really don’t think you’re giving me an option to do otherwise.”
His jaw ticks. “Cameron, this is not a fucking arrangement.”
“But it is. We—”
“Stop,” he demands, running his thumb along my lip. “It’s not. If I had the script you wrote out, I’d tear it up for dramatic effect and tell you none of that matters.”
“I don’t get it. I thought we had an understanding. Why are you changing it up without discussion?”
“Because I fucking want you.”
“For sex? I don’t know if I’m ready for that. And if you need it so bad, I can order you a pocket pussy.”
His brow knits. “What is wrong with you?” he asks, letting go of my face and taking a step back. “I get that’s how we started, but even then, I wanted more.”
“What?” I roar. “We slept together for four months, and you wanted more? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you didn’t even tell me your fucking last name, Cam!” he yells back, and I feel like I’m tingling everywhere. He liked me and wanted more than sex? Why didn’t he tell me? “I had to get it from Callie, but then everything happened, and you ran.”
“I ran because I couldn’t handle what happened!”
“Same!” he yells back, and he looks away, running his hand through his hair. His shoulders are so tight, but I know my chest is tighter. I look down, trying to get my feelings under control, but seeing him so raw hurts me. I didn’t want to hurt him. “I know it was a lot. And I knew we needed space, so I gave it to you.”
I swallow past the emotions trying to choke me. “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories with this. I trusted you and thought you’d be good to fake date and get the grade I want.”
“Sure, but the moment you asked me to do this. I saw it as the opportunity to get what I wanted.”
“What you wanted?”
He sighs. “You’re not listening to me.”
I look up. “What do you mean?”
Benson’s eyes burn into mine, and my heart is beating so fucking fast and hard, I feel my vision vibrating. “Nothing about our past, no matter how messy, carries bad memories for me. None of it.” I press my lips together as he takes a step toward me, his eyes never leaving mine. “I watched a girl take her fate into her own hands and choose the future she wanted. I sat beside you, floored by your strength. I would have done anything you wanted. If you’d wanted to get married and raise that baby, I would have because I was in awe of you, Cameron. Fuck, I still am.” My lips tremble as my eyes start to water. “I stepped back because I knew you were hurting. Ahfuckbaby, I was too, not because of what we did, but because it caused you pain. Everyone looked down on you, everyone blamed you, and I hated it. I had to step away just as much as you did.”
“It was all too much,” I admit, swallowing thickly. “Sometimes, it still is.”
“I know,” he agrees, taking a step toward me. “But your choice didn’t make me think of you any differently. If anything, it only made me want you more.” I cut my eyes to his as my heart thuds in my chest. I watch him come toe-to-toe with me, his eyes studying me as I see him bring his hand up to cup my jaw. “There hasn’t been a day in these last three years when I haven’t thought of you,” he whispers, moving his thumb along the curve of my chin. “How I missed you. That’s why I agreed with no hesitation. It was the second chance I’ve been waiting for.”