Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 79462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
He never wanted that war. It was Papa from the start, forcing him to fight. I can look back now and see the truth, how Papa was the aggressor, pushing the Costa family, goading them into violence, how he felt as though if he didn’t go straight to violence then the Costa organization would roll right over him and destroy our way of life. At the time, that seemed reasonable.
Now, with hindsight, all I can see are the corpses.
So much lost life, and for what? Nothing’s changed.
There’s a knock at the door. I sit up straight and wipe the tears from my face as the locks slam open and Jayson steps into the room. He’s carrying a tray with a bowl of soup and some steaming hot tea.
I open my mouth to speak but I don’t know what to say. He doesn’t look at me, only carries the meal over and sets it on the bed. He lingers, his hands balled into fists, his face twisted in pain.
“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this,” I whisper as if that makes any difference.
He says nothing. His mouth twitches, but he still won’t look at me.
I shuffle closer.
“When I first came here, I hated you. I wanted to hurt you. All I could think about was Papa and I was so mad all the damn time. I copied those documents thinking I could use them against you at some point, but then—”
“I hated you too,” he says, his voice strained. Anger and pain war across his features. His entire body’s tense. “I despised you, Fallon. But you know what I didn’t do?”
“Jayson—”
“I didn’t try to hurt you. I never thought about destroying you. Even though you represented the people that murdered my best friend, that shot him dead, that left him to bleed out in my own fucking arms, I never once considered taking it out on you. I hated you, but I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“It’s different,” I say, starting to cry again. “You’re the one that ordered my father’s death.”
“What a convenient distinction.” He turns and walks to the door.
“Please, wait. I threw the bag away because I wasn’t going to use it. I’m sorry—”
“You should eat,” he says and leaves, locking the door behind him.
I slump back, sobbing into my pillow.
At some point, I manage to eat a little bit. There’s not much to do, and I end up watching TV for hours. Nobody comes to check on me, nobody calls or knocks. I’m alone in the room.
It’s comfortable, but it’s a prison.
Around eight that night, there’s a knock at the door. I sit up straight, rubbing sleep from my eyes. It opens, and Casey steps into the room, looking worried and uncomfortable. She glances around as if she’s checking to make sure there aren’t any torture devices set up. A couple big goons stand right outside the door, but Jayson’s nowhere nearby.
“Are you okay?” she asks, limping over as the door closes behind her.
“I’m fine,” I say, struggling now to start crying again. The fact that she’s not flinching away from me in fear and hate right now means so much more than I can even begin to describe.
“Nobody hurt you?”
“No, not at all. Jayson brought me some food.”
“Good. Okay, great.” She seems visibly relieved. “I wasn’t sure. I heard what happened and I was afraid—”
“What, that Jayson would hurt me?”
“No, oh, god, no, not at all. But maybe one of the soldiers might want to do something stupid to get the boss’s attention. Stuff like that happens.”
“I’m okay. Nobody’s been in here but him.”
Casey sits down at the end of the bed. She looks exhausted: her eyes are red, her hair’s messy, and she’s wearing sweats. “I had such an ugly fight with Adler,” she says, shaking her head. “And the kids are being total animals. Like just beasts. They’re finally asleep, which is why it took me so long to get up here.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice sounding tiny. I keep apologizing, but nobody seems to want to listen. At least Casey manages to smile and rub her face, but she’s got more important things to deal with. “You should go back to your family. I’m not worth it.”
“Oh, stop.” She gives me a hard look. “Tell me what happened.”
“What do you mean?”
“From the beginning. Start from the top and tell me why you stole those documents and why you copied them. Tell me everything.”
I take a deep breath. Some part of me wonders if Casey was sent in here by Adler to get my confession, but even if that’s true, I don’t care. I’m not trying to hide it.
I start at the graveyard, at the moment I found out I was going to marry Jayson. It comes out in a rush, all the worry and the fear, how I only said yes to make sure no other Grady girl was put in my place. How I thought of it as a sacrifice, but I hated him so much already for killing my father.