Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 79462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
“I wanted to hurt him,” I admit, feeling horrible. I hug myself like I’m trying to hold my guts in. I can’t imagine doing anything so stupid now, not to Jayson, but he wasn’t Jayson at that point, only the bastard that killed my dad.
She listens as I talk about copying the papers and hiding them in the wall. How I told Rian, but he convinced me to hold off on doing anything. And how things started to change with Jayson, and one day I realized I didn’t want to hurt him anymore—but the stolen papers were still there, and that conversation had been recorded.
“You threw it all out hoping you could get away with it,” she says quietly.
“I knew they’d hear the conversation, but I planned on saying I never followed through with stealing anything and I was just pissed off.”
“That’s why you tossed it.” She smiles slightly, shaking her head. “I guess you weren’t heading out to go shopping, huh?”
“No. I’m sorry I lied to you.”
She nods, chewing her lip. “I understand. I really do, probably better than any of the boys.”
“I didn’t mean to betray him. Or at least, I did want to hurt him, but once I got to know him, I began to realize I was falling in love. And now it’s like, I did something so stupid, hurt him so deeply, and I don’t know if he’ll ever be able to forgive me. I hate myself for making those copies. I wish I could take it all back.”
She reaches out and puts a hand on my ankle. “I believe you.”
“Really?” It feels so good for her to say that right now.
“Yes, I really do. I don’t think you would’ve gone to such lengths to get rid of all that stuff if you planned on hurting him. Maybe you’re an incredibly good liar, but—I don’t know, call it my intuition, but I think you’re telling the truth.”
“I messed up. I won’t deny it and I won’t pretend like I didn’t do it.”
“That’s good at least. They’d figure it out if you were lying and that would only make things worse. If there’s one thing they hate as much as betrayal, it’s liars.”
I groan and lean back in the bed. “What am I going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Jayson would barely talk to me. He wouldn’t look at me at all. It was like I was a black hole and he couldn’t bear to turn in my direction.”
“Do you really want to fix things?”
I tilt my head toward her and consider her question for only half a beat before nodding. “Yes. I really do.”
“And you want to stay his wife?”
“Yes. I definitely do.”
“That’s good.” She looks relieved, like she wasn’t sure what I’d say. “Because if you wanted out, I bet you could get out. I mean, after this, they’d be happy to get rid of you, but they won’t kill you. That’d only start the war again and they still don’t want that.”
“I want to be here with him. Which is so pathetic, isn’t it? I went to so much trouble to get all those documents because I hated him and wanted to hurt him, and now all I want to do is sleep in bed with my husband again.”
Her smile gets bigger. “That’s kind of cute.”
“Tell Jayson that.”
“Well, I’m going to be brutally honest with you, okay? That’s going to be a problem.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. “He hates me.”
“Probably. You have to understand, to them loyalty is everything. The fact that your first inclination was to betray him says a lot, at least to them.”
“What can I do to change his mind?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t. But there was a time when I didn’t want to ever see Adler again, and he won me over with persistence.”
“Not sure how I can be persistent in here. I’m their prisoner, remember?”
“I’ll work on Jayson, okay? I’ll try to get him to talk to you at least.”
“That would mean so much.”
“But you have to understand, this is an uphill battle. You betrayed them, which basically means you’re dead to them. I won’t let Adler hurt you, but I don’t have any idea what they’ll end up doing with you.”
I nod, feeling completely miserable. “Why are you being so nice to me, anyway?”
“I told you before, we’ve all been there. It’s not easy, falling in love with a Costa brother, and you said it yourself. You’re falling.”
I suck in a deep breath and slowly blow it out. “I already fell hard and I feel like such a fool.”
“You made a mistake when you were hurting and angry. You did something stupid, but that doesn’t mean Jayson hates you now. From what I can tell, this whole thing is killing him.”
“Thank you, Casey. Really, I mean it. Thank you so much.”