Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 103918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
I hated that I couldn't see Gideon's nonverbal responses. It made it harder to know if I was saying the right thing or not. Or if I should be saying anything at all. For all I knew, I was making it worse.
"Serena and I couldn't make it work. We fought all the time and that spilled over into the relationship with our kids. A couple weeks before Emma turned twelve, I told Serena I couldn't do it anymore and that I was going through with the divorce. I moved out of the house and got a lawyer. Serena had always had a lot of problems. Mostly with depression and anxiety. She'd go on and off her medication, so it was always this roller coaster with her. I tried repeatedly to get her to go to marriage counseling with me, but she didn't see the things that I did. And the more I tried to pull away, the tighter onto me she'd hold. I should’ve… I should've…"
The hitch in Gideon's voice had me moving down another step. I put my hand out in the hopes of finding him. But Gideon came to me. Or at least his hand did, anyway. I held on to that fact as hard as I held on to his fingers as he continued.
"I should have seen it coming,” he choked out.
When he didn’t continue, I dared to ask, “What happened, Gideon?”
I waited for him to respond, but it wasn't his voice I heard. It was a woman's voice and it was clearly a recording of some kind.
Emma, I'm sorry, honey, but I can't take you shopping today. Your dad… he was just here and he…
There was some interference with the recording that I now realized was a voicemail message for Gideon's oldest daughter, presumably left by his wife. I had no clue why he was having me listen to the message, but it was clear from the way Serena was speaking that she was upset and crying. I could hear what sounded like a child crying in the background.
I tried, Em. Your daddy doesn't want to fix it. He wants to take you away from me. He says he won't let you see me anymore. He's going to take Bethie too. I can't be alone, honey. You know I can't. He—he says he doesn't love me. He doesn't love you either. He never wanted you. He just wants to take you away from me to hurt me. I just wanted us to be a family again.
I flinched at the clear attack on Gideon's character. I didn't believe for a second that he’d threatened to take the children away from their mother solely for the purpose of hurting her. Serena's voice was high-pitched, nearly hysterical. It had the hairs on the back of my neck standing straight up. The child in the background began screaming.
It's okay, Bethie. Mommy's here. Mommy's going to make it better. Em, I love you, my sweet little girl. I'm sorry, but I have to do this. I have to. I can't let him take you away from me. I can't be alone. I'm sorry.
I could hear horns honking in the background and so I assumed some of the noise I was hearing behind Serena's voice was that of an engine. I felt sick to my stomach as I realized why Gideon had played the message for me.
I shook my head even as Serena continued to say her goodbyes to her oldest child. The little girl in the car continued to cry and scream.
Mommy's here, Bethie! Mommy's here! It will be over soon! It will be over soon…
Serena kept repeating the same phrases over and over even as the sound of metal on metal nearly drowned her out. Then the engine revving masked Serena's declaration to her young daughter. Serena suddenly screamed and then the recording cut out. I shook my head in disbelief because I couldn't comprehend what I’d just heard.
Not only had Serena taken the life of her little girl as she’d ended her own, she’d left her oldest daughter a suicide note in the form of a voicemail message.
I felt like I was going to be sick. I could feel the tears stinging the backs of my eyes and I had to reach out to find the railing for the stairs to hold myself up. "Gideon," I somehow managed to breathe out, though I wasn't sure how that was possible since my throat felt completely closed off. I wanted him to take back the message… to unplay it somehow.
"Did Emma hear that?" I choked out.
"Yes," Gideon said. "She got the message thirty minutes after her mother drove her car over a cliff on the Pacific Coast Highway in northern California. Divers found Serena's body in the car. They never found Bethie's."