Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 66863 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66863 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
“I’ll be fine,” I told him. “I settled down a bit while grocery shopping. It was a good distraction.”
“I’m glad.” He followed me into the kitchen. “How about you make our dinner. It’ll give you something to focus on.”
“Oh God. I’d love that. Sometimes, I swear, you’re a mind reader.” If I kept my thoughts going about other things, I wouldn’t stress about everything else. Downtime was always a struggle. Sometimes I’d worry about my life now, or about things I’d dealt with in the past, but if I could concentrate on something, it always helped.
Kieran sat at the table while I prepared the salmon and put it into the oven. I told him about Phil winning the case and the party afterward. I told him how I thought they might speak to me about a promotion soon. I added that I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I wasn’t sure if I wanted that added stress.
He listened and asked questions as I continued our meal—making the salad and preparing dinner.
By the time the food was done, I felt even better than I had after grocery shopping—mentally, at least. My body still felt tight and stiff.
“Sit down. I’ll finish,” Kieran told me and I did. It felt nice to get off my feet and just let myself be for a moment. He made our plates and set them at the table along with a glass of wine for each of us. We talked more as we ate and then he told me he wanted the dishes left in the sink; he would wash them tomorrow.
Typically, I liked to help him with them. It gave me something to do and made me feel as though I was repaying him, somewhat, for continuing to have me over so often.
“Thank you. I appreciated this evening. It was just what I needed,” I told him assuming I would be going home.
“Not yet, Jared. Come into the living room with me. We need to talk.”
CHAPTER SIX
Nerves buzzed at the base of my spine as we went into the living room, a million thoughts ricocheting around in my brain. Maybe he was going to call this…whatever this was…off. My gut sank at the thought.
I sat on my corner of the couch, the one he always liked me to use and Kieran sat in his chair. “Days like today…they really weigh on you, don’t they, Jared? You feel like you’re sort of floating, unsure of what to do. Which way to go?”
He knew… Oh God, how did he know? Shame washed over me. I felt…weak…weaker than I remembered feeling in a long time. “I’m fine,” I told him, my voice harsh.
“It’s okay if you’re not fine. If you need a little help. If sometimes you feel like you can’t handle it.”
My heart raced. Part of me wondered if Kieran ever felt the same. If it wasn’t just me. But that damn shame was still there, too. What was wrong with me? I was a grown man for God’s sake. I shouldn’t feel this way. The urge to deny it was there but I didn’t have it in me to do it, because I hoped he would get it and I wouldn’t feel so alone. “I know it sounds crazy.”
“No.” Kieran shook his head. “It doesn’t sound crazy. Come here.”
I thought it was strange Kieran would call me over when the chair was fairly close to my seat, but I found myself standing and walking over. My body obeyed my mind and my mind didn’t seem to be obeying me…just Kieran.
“Sit on the floor, between my legs,” Kieran told me and I frowned.
Okay, so this was a little different. “What? Why would I sit on the floor at your feet?”
“You’ll see,” he said. “I’m trying to help.”
My frown grew deeper. Sure, Kieran and I had become friends the past few weeks, but this was…not something we usually did. I’d never had a man ask me to sit on the floor at their feet before.
“Come on, Jared. Sit down,” he told me again, with a little more authority in his voice…and I did. Christ, I fucking did it. Without any more thought, I sat on the floor, between my neighbor’s legs, because he’d told me to. I knew it was odd, but I did it anyway. I thought maybe I needed it.
“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” he said, and then his hands went to my shoulders. “That was a very good boy,” he told me. “Sitting here like I asked.”
My whole body tensed up. Fear shot through me. Good boy? I wasn’t a boy, I was a man and I sure as hell didn’t need him telling me I was good.
Thank me. Say thank you, Daddy.
Bad boys don’t learn if they don’t get punished.
I opened my mouth to ask him what this was about. I shook my head and tried to do whatever I could to push those memories of the videos I’d masturbated to a few weeks ago out of my mind.