Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 66511 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 333(@200wpm)___ 266(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66511 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 333(@200wpm)___ 266(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
He had only thought he had it bad for Ducky. After last night, and then again this morning… Well, he found reason and purpose within him. The exact combination of clarity as if Ducky was somehow his missing link to everything. He narrowed his eyes under the heavy implication of what a thought like that meant for his future.
As ready as he was for this kind of relationship with this particular man, he feared coming on too strong and pushing Ducky away. His fingers tightened around Ducky’s, committing the promise to his heart that he’d do whatever it took to keep Ducky happy and by his side. Even if they were nothing more than friends with benefits.
The violent lurch of his heart dragged his lips down into a frown. He lifted Ducky’s hand to his mouth, kissing the warm skin of his fingers. In his peripheral vision. He caught Ducky’s gaze leaving the ocean to turn a questioning glance his way. He had to look at Ducky, seeing the piercing gaze that spoke of love, determination, and commitment to his heart which seemed a fickle fucking organ with the way it flipped emotion around today. The tension from seconds ago eased under the weight of Ducky’s concerned stare. All he could do was give the smile Ducky responded to the most.
“I like this between us. I don’t want it to end after we leave here.”
Ducky’s expression turned quizzical, making Chad wonder if he was the only one thinking long term. Perhaps he was—something he tended to do a lot—jumping way ahead, analyzing all the angles and possibilities.
“I’ve made some decisions about my life that I don’t think are going to go over well,” Ducky said, pulling his hand from Chad’s. He found it hard to tamp down the urge to hold on tighter. He watched as Ducky crossed his arms over his chest. Ducky seemed to get smaller in front of him. Whatever decisions were made had Ducky unsure.
The need to offer comfort pushed him. Chad reached over, cupping Ducky’s thigh with his palm, he squeezed. He scanned Ducky’s tanned face which was paling by the second. “I can’t imagine anything that you do will disappoint me.”
A single harsh laugh forced itself from Ducky’s lips, but Chad’s words did seem to help the tension that had suddenly formed between them. Ducky’s shoulders loosened until they slumped, his gaze shifting back to the ocean, letting Chad know he had only changed his location of meditation, not the actual act of meditating.
“I’m not into the life I’m living,” Ducky stated strongly then hedged in saying anything more. He opened his mouth as if to say more then closed it.
Chad caressed his palm back and forth over Ducky’s thigh as he tried in vain to manage the tightness overtaking his heart. Reasonably, he understood that he needed clarification of Ducky’s words before he let his own emotions spiral, adding negative meaning to Ducky’s simple declaration.
“I liked myself better before I started making all this money,” Ducky finally said.
Chad only nodded, not really connecting the dots between now and then. From Chad’s perspective, Ducky had changed very little about his life even with all his successes. His world literally revolved around the same five miles he’d grown up in. The tight grip on his heart eased as he agreed with the parts he understood. “I liked you before too, but I don’t think you’re that different of a person.”
Ducky unwound his hands from the hold he had around his chest, placing a palm on his heart. “I’m different here, and I don’t like it.” Ducky’s angry brow furrowed, the look on his face hardened as he got to his feet, moving completely away from Chad. He took long strides to the railing of the patio, giving Chad his back as he stared out at the ocean for several long minutes.
With the same anguished flare, he turned back toward Chad, leaning his ass on the ledge. His arms crossed over his chest again. He looked ready for an argument. “I’m giving my money away. I don’t like it. People suffer while I have all this cash that I don’t need. I’ll increase our company’s benefit packages then I’m giving the rest to charity. Greer knows lots of nonprofits who are trustworthy…” Ducky shook his head as his lips clamped shut. His strong jaw ground together. The direct focus Ducky had on Chad let him know this decision somehow included him.
“I only need about twenty thousand dollars a year to live on. I don’t like the excess or the way it causes people to look at me differently now. I want to live an authentic life, one that represents me, not everyone else.”
Chad could do little more than nod as he got to his feet. Of course, Ducky wouldn’t like having money. He’d always railed against the world for not taking care of the underprivileged. He hadn’t ever met anyone in his life who considered everyone before themselves, but Ducky did. He inspired Chad to look at the world differently, always do better in his day-to-day life.