Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 76136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 381(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 381(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
“I can’t love him.” I say the words. My voice is almost a whisper as it dawns on me that I went and fucking fell in love with him. “This is me getting him out of my system.” I look at Clarabella, who just nods her head at me without telling me sure it is.
“That is what this is.” I look over at Addison, who smiles at me almost like, you poor thing. I get up, the chair flying back. “I’m not in love with him,” I tell them both, wrapping up the frame in the white box. “This is…” I try to think of the words to say. “Nothing.” I look at both of them as I put the cover on the box and walk around my desk. My body is filled with endless nerves. I grab my purse, picking it up, “I’m,” I say, looking at them, “I’ll see you both tomorrow. Good night.”
“It’s ten a.m.,” Addison states and Clarabella just claps her hands together as she bursts out laughing.
“Call me if you need anything,” I tell Addison and storm out, pissed at myself for letting this get to me again.
“Unbelievable,” I mumble as I toss my purse on the seat beside me and then put the white box on top of it.
I don’t even know how long it takes me to get home, but I park in the garage when I do. I leave the box and my purse in the car before walking into the house. The phone pings in my hand, and I see it’s from Matthew
Did you like the gift?
“No,” I tell myself, “no, I did not.” My fingers are on the keypad, ready to answer him.
What gift? In meetings back-to-back. Have three bride meetings today, will only finish really late. I’ll call you when I’m done.
I press send before I walk straight upstairs to my bedroom. The covers are still all messed up from this morning when we had sex as soon as my alarm started ringing. I kick off my heels and undress before I strip the bed and wash the sheets. My phone rings a couple of times, and every time, it’s Matthew. The sun goes down, and I make sure all the blinds are closed around the house. I sit in the middle of my bed with the television on, but the sound as low as can be. The phone on the night side table with unanswered texts from Matthew.
Do you want to come here after work?
Swung by the office to drop off something to eat. Where are you?
Can you call me?
I ignore the phone calls. I ignore the text messages. I ignore it all. Lying in bed, I watch the hours tick by when I hear my phone ringing at midnight, right before the knock on my door. “Fuck,” I mouth without saying anything.
“Sofia,” he says my name as I sneak down the stairs, trying not to make a sound. “If you don’t open the door,” he warns, his voice clear as day, “I’m calling your grandfather and telling him I can’t find you.” I close my eyes, wondering if he would really do that. “I don’t have his number, but I’m sure I can get a hold of someone.” I finally step down the last step. “Maybe if I speak into the Ring camera,” he says, and I shake my head, knowing he’s not going to go away. “Open the door, Sofia.”
I unlock the door and slowly open the door. “Fuck,” Matthew hisses. “Thank God you’re okay.” He walks in and grabs me around my waist, burying his face in my neck. “I was so worried.” He puts me down, and I stare at him. “Were you here all night long?” he asks.
“Yes,” I reply softly.
“Why the silence?” He asks the question, his voice as soft as mine.
“Because I didn’t feel like talking to you,” I answer him honestly.
He looks into my eyes, searching for something. “Care to tell me why?”
“No.” I shake my head at the same time I say the word.
“What’s going on?” His eyes never leave mine.
I take a deep breath. “I don’t want to do this anymore,” I speak the words I’ve been repeating to myself all night. Ignoring how the pain in my chest is even stronger now that I’m actually saying them to him and not just in my head.
He folds his arms over his chest. “Define this?”
I throw up my hands. “Me, you, the sex.” I swallow the lump that has crawled up from my stomach to my throat. “All of it.” He shakes his head. “You can’t just shake your head,” I snap. “I slept with you to get you out of my system.” Saying the words I hope will hurt him enough that he just lets me be. That he just goes, and we can be done with whatever this is.