Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 76136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 381(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 381(@200wpm)___ 305(@250wpm)___ 254(@300wpm)
“How is that working out for you?” His question confuses me. “How is getting me out of your system working for you?” He puts his hands on his hips. “Because I’ll tell you right now.” The sting of tears threatens to come, so I blink them away. “I thought I loved you before.” He shakes his head. “Like I knew I loved you when I was an immature idiot.” He takes a step closer to me, closing the distance between us. “But now.” His face goes from a smirk to a full-blown smile. “Now that I’ve been with and without you, I can safely say I love you more.” I want to tell him to stop talking, but nothing comes out of me. “It just cemented everything.”
“Ugh, oh my God, Matthew.” I finally get the courage to say something, and I’m thankful it’s not coming out with me sobbing. “You can’t just say things like that.”
“Why not?” The age-old question.
“Because I said so.” I look at him, and all he does is laugh at me.
“Can we go to bed yet?” he asks softly. “I’ve been driving around town the last four hours. I’m exhausted.” Why does that make my heart skip a beat? Why does everything he says make my heart flutter? Why? Oh, I know why, because I love it.
“I’m going to bed in my bed and you are going to your bed.” I point at him.
He just looks at me. “Then go pack a bag.” He points at the stairs and in the direction of my bedroom.
“I don’t want to pack a bag.” I almost stomp my foot, and he just shrugs.
“Okay, fine.” He turns and I somehow think he’s leaving, which makes me internally freak out even more. Instead of leaving, he shuts the door and then turns to walk to the stairs.
“I’m not leaving.”
“Why?” I don’t even know why I’m asking him this but I can’t help myself.
He comes back and stands in front of me, his hand coming out to cup my cheek. His thumb rubs my cheekbone back and forth. My breaths are coming in short pants as I wait for him to speak. The words finally come out in a soft breath. “Because you’re here.”
matthew
I stand in front of her, my hand coming up to cup her cheek, because I need to touch her after driving around for the last four hours looking for her. Searching in every single parking lot I passed by to look for her car, afraid she finally ran away from me. Afraid she would never let me see her again. I can’t even put into words how desperate I was. Having her face in my hand, I can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. She has tried to push me away every single day since I forced myself back into her life. But she needs to finally hear it, needs to feel it, needs to know it. “Because you’re here.” My voice is as strong as it can be without it cracking.
I see her eyes blink a million times a minute, so I know she’s fighting it back. Know she doesn’t want to give in. “Sofia.” Her name is on my lips all the time now. “We can go as slow as you want.” I don’t let my eyes roam from hers. “But at the end of the day, Sofia.” I swallow the lump and fear down. Fear that she won’t give in to what she wants. Fear she won’t forgive me for throwing her away. Fear I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life without her, no matter how much I push her. “All I want is to be by your side.”
She licks her lips, not pushing me away. “Why?” Her voice is so low, I know this is going to be my only shot.
“Because I’m not a stupid kid anymore.” I want to kiss her so badly, but she needs to know, needs to understand how I can’t live life without her. “Because I know what my life is without you.” I take a deep inhale, not willing to see it, not willing to live it. “And I know what my life is with you.” The strength she had to hold back the tears is a losing battle, and just like me, she lets go of a single tear, except I’m here to brush away her tear. “And clear as day, I would pick you every time.” I lick my lips, my mouth going so dry I don’t know how I continue, but I do, with my heart beating so fast in my chest it’s putting additional pressure on my heart. “I fucked up, a colossal fuckup.” I try to smile, but the pain in my chest from when I lost her comes front and center again. “The way we came together again is not ideal.” I smirk for a second. “But I have to think we would have crossed paths again.” The agony of it not happening is too much to bear. “I have to believe this because there is no one for me but you.” I trail off.