Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 92136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 461(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 461(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
I put my arm around him and laid my head on his shoulder. “Well, I like the changes in you. I know you probably feel like a stranger to yourself, but I think this person who’s capable of so much love was always there inside you. Waiting to be set free.”
He laughed a little. “I’m picturing a little madman running around in my body throwing hearts everywhere.”
I giggled. “Exactly. You finally let him out of Feelings Jail. He’s been trapped there for years.”
“Feelings Jail.” Shaking his head, Nate set the empty bottle on the coffee table and stood up, moving Paisley to one shoulder. “You’re insane.”
“But I’m right, aren’t I? Doesn’t it feel better to allow yourself to love and be loved than to keep yourself isolated and closed off? Wasn’t that ever lonely?”
“Yes,” he admitted, rubbing Paisley’s back. “Sometimes it was.”
My jaw fell open. “Wow. I didn’t actually think you were going to admit that.”
“I wasn’t going to, but the little feelings madman made me do it.”
I took one of the cushions from behind me and whacked his legs with it. “Now you’re just making fun of me.”
He grinned. “I can’t help it. Not everything about me has changed.”
A few minutes later, we turned out all the lights and went upstairs to bed. It was almost like we were a little family, and the notion gave me a warm feeling deep in my belly. Maybe it would happen someday.
In his bedroom I took off my robe and pants and slipped between the covers. Then I watched as he cradled his daughter and put her to sleep, walking back and forth at the foot of the bed, bouncing her gently. She fussed at first, but eventually she kept the pacifier in her mouth and quieted down. After about five minutes, he was able to lay her in the sleeper.
He disappeared into his closet for a moment, and when he returned he wore only his boxer briefs. My stomach flipped at the sight of all his bare skin, at the memory of what it had felt like to be naked and pressed against him, at the thought that he’d been inside me without protection. Nothing between us. He got into bed, and I snuggled up next to him, my head on his chest. His arms wrapped around me.
We lay that way in silence for a few minutes, and I thought he might have fallen asleep, but then he spoke softly in the dark. “Come with me tomorrow.”
At first I couldn’t think what he meant. “What?”
“To my mom’s house. I want you to come with me.”
I propped myself up on his chest and looked down at him. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” He rubbed my upper arms. “Going there is always difficult. And you make everything better.”
My toes wiggled. “Okay. I’ll go with you.”
“Thank you.”
I lowered my lips to his and held them there a moment. “Thank you for asking me.”
“You might not thank me after we get there. My mother is…odd.”
“That’s okay. I’m not going for her, I’m going for you. To support you.”
He brushed my hair back from my face. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Maybe not. But you’ve got great hands and a big dick, and it’s super convenient that you live right across the hall.”
He laughed quietly. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Me too.” I put my head down again and closed my eyes. “Night.”
“Night.”
I fell asleep to the gentle rise and fall of his chest and the soft stroke of his hand up and down my back.
“What was your favorite thing to do on a rainy day when you were a kid?” It was a few minutes after ten, and we were in the car on the way to his mom’s house.
The good weather had passed and rain drummed down against the windshield, pooled beneath overpasses on the highway, and made the driving difficult. The windshield wipers in Nate’s fancy car were working overtime, but I still had no idea how he could see. Not that I minded the slow drive. The interior of his car was warm and cozy, Paisley was napping in the back, and the extra time together was perfect for conversation. I was thrilled that he had asked me to come with him today and saw it as the perfect opportunity to learn more about him.
“Probably Legos. I had about a million of them.”
“And what would you build?”
“Cities. My brother and I would build entire cities out of Legos—skyscrapers and houses and garages for our matchbox cars. We had a huge room in the basement devoted to Legos. We used to play down there all the time on rainy days.”
“What about when it was sunny?”
“If it wasn’t raining, we were always outside. There were lots of kids in our neighborhood, and we’d have epic games of Peas and Carrots, which was basically hide and seek.”