Total pages in book: 46
Estimated words: 42809 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 214(@200wpm)___ 171(@250wpm)___ 143(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 42809 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 214(@200wpm)___ 171(@250wpm)___ 143(@300wpm)
“We don’t have ta do this,” Sully says from behind me, as he wraps his arms around me.
“It was the first time,” I whisper, my voice hoarse as I speak. “His boot… he…” The memory is so fresh in my mind. I recall the agony of my ribs being fractured. I can still see the blue and purple bruises all over my fair skin. “It was the first time I ended up in the hospital.”
“And he apologized when he realized what he’d done,” Sully finishes for me.
All I can do is nod. It was the first time I ended up in the ER, but it wasn’t the last.
“There were other times when his abuse was less serious, but still painful. He took…” I swallow back the lump in my throat as I look at Sully’s reflection in the window. “He took a lighter, a Zippo, and heated the lid of the lighter with the flame before he pressed it against the inside of my upper arm. He only did it because I made a joke about him not needing another drink while we were in the pub.”
Sully’s fingers tighten on my shoulders. It’s not painful—it’s as if he’s trying to hold me up but also keep himself from breaking something. There’s a calm surety that he’s with me and I’m with him.
“One day he found me in the bathroom with a blade,” I whisper as the tears stream down my cheeks. I don’t wipe them away, because I want to feel them. I need to expel them from my body. There was a time I didn’t cry, even when he hurt me. I realized quickly that he wanted me to shed tears. He enjoyed it, so I became an emotionless doll.
“Ye don’t have ta—”
“He took the blade from my hands, and he cut my arms. From my elbow down to my wrist. He laughed when he looked at me and said I was worthless.”
I shake my head when I remember how Rogan smirked as he watched me bleed. Above the sadness and heartbreak currently racing through me, I feel my anger at him, at myself for staying, even after that.
“He rushed me to the hospital. The story was that I was depressed and tried to kill myself. He was the doting boyfriend, worried about me.”
“I can’t lie to ye,” Sully says as he rests his chin on my shoulder. “I’m livid right now. And there’s no doubt I could so easily kill him at this very second.”
There’s a stark contrast between the affectionate way he’s holding me and the words he’s speaking. And it makes me want to smile that he’s so protective of me. I’ve never had someone like that. Well, not after Dad. Even though I had Darius, there was still a distance between us. I’m sure he and the rest of the brothers would kill for me, but there’s something different about this because it’s Sully. He’s the man who’s slowly stolen my heart and is holding it in his hands.
I turn in his arms and look up at him. There are so many emotions dancing in his eyes at this moment, but the one I see the most is love.
“I don’t want anyone hurtin’ ye ever again, even me,” he says to me, which makes my heart thud wildly against my ribs. “No woman should have ta go through what ye did, and it makes me angry to know there are men out there who do this to beautiful, innocent women.”
“You’re a good man, Sully. That’s why I told you, no matter what is in your past, you’re nothing like Rogan or the others who think it’s okay to take their hurt out on someone else.”
“Why did ye stay with him fer so long?”
It’s the age-old question. It’s the one thing I ask myself, and I’m pretty sure other women in that position ask themselves all the time. I remember watching movies way back, and I wondered why the hell women didn’t get out of those kinds of relationships. It plagued me, but then, when I was in one, I learned how easy it is to get stuck in the loop of abuse, apologies, and forgiveness.
“It’s not as easy as just walking away. There’s fear, there’s emotion, and even though there is pain, I also felt love. When you care that much about someone, you want to believe them when they say they’re sorry.”
I’m not sure that’s the answer he wants, but it’s the only one I have. I hoped and prayed, but in the end, I could never change Rogan. Accepting he was nothing more than a monster was crushing because I wanted to believe he was good for so long.
“I guess in some ways, I thought if I loved him harder, if I showed him I’m not running away, then he’d become a better man. And as I say that now, I realize how stupid it sounds.”