Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82472 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82472 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
“Hey,” she says while I bend over to wrap my hands around my ankles, stretching out my hamstrings.
I come back up. “Hey, are you excited about the class?” I ask her, smiling.
Karen is known as a yoga cougar. She lies on her mat, checking out her prey before she pounces on them.
“I can’t wait to see how it really is. See how the goats actually react.” She is about to go on when the door opens, making the bell over the door ring. We both look over at Noah, who is now standing at the door. The sun coming in all around him makes him look like an angel. The smirk he gives me makes my panties melt and he hasn’t even said anything. “Holy shit,” Karen says quietly but stops talking when she sees Noah walking over to me.
“Hi.” I raise my hand to wave at him, but he comes in, leaning down and kissing me on the cheek. “Glad you could make it.”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he says, his voice smooth. I’m about to say something when Karen clears her throat. I see her moving from side to side with her hands behind her back. “Who do we have here?” she asks.
“Um, Karen”—I point to Noah—“this is my friend Noah. Noah, this is Karen.” I point to her.
Noah reaches out to shake her hand that she brings in front of her.
“Oh, nice hard grip you have there,” she says and I about groan out and make gagging noises.
“I have your change of clothes,” I tell him, handing him the canvas bag that I put the clothes in. “There is a bathroom through there.” I point to the door in the corner of the room. “Class starts in five minutes,” I tell him when he nods and makes his way to the bathroom.
“Holy mother of god,” Karen says, watching him walk away, “who is that fine glass of cold milk after a nice rice chocolate cake?”
“Oh, that’s Noah.” My eyes rove around in search of anyone else I can leave her with before she starts asking more question.
“Is he single?”
“He is, from what I know.” I’m about to continue when the door opens and Stephanie comes in, walking straight to me.
“Hey, glad I’m not late. What’s up, Karen?” she greets us both.
“Steph, do you know Noah? Does he take classes at the studio? Relaxation room? Anything?” Karen asks while Stephanie unrolls her mat next to mine.
“I have no idea. He’s a friend of Kaleigh’s,” she says, bending to pet the goat that is trying to lick her feet.
“I’m going to totally go for it. You don’t mind, do you, Kaleigh?” she asks, looking for Noah to come back.
“No, not at all, but I should mention.” I look around to see if anyone is listening. “He suffers from IBS. You know, Irritable Bowel Syndrome.”
Stephanie is giggling with a goat in front of her mouth to hide it.
“Oh, they have pills for that,” Karen says.
“He also suffers from ED,” I blurt out, shocked at even myself.
Karen stares at me, her mouth open.
“Yes, if it wasn’t enough for him to have ED, the minute his penis is erect he suffers diarrhea.” I see Noah coming back into the room. “He doesn’t like to talk about it,” I whisper at Karen, who gives Noah a once-over and then walks away.
“Friends my ass,” Stephanie says as Noah finds his place next to me in front of his mat. He smiles at me. “Is this my mat?” he asks while I nod.
“Hi,” Stephanie says from her sitting position. “I’m Stephanie. I work with Kaleigh.”
“Hi there,” Noah says, going to lean over and stopping when a goat bites his calf, making him jump. “Fucker,” he hisses.
“Okay, everyone, before we start I’m going to go over a few rules. The goats are free to come and go as they please. They are not toilet trained, so there is a chance that they might go wherever they please.” Tammy, the instructor, starts talking. “Most know how to jump, so there may be times where you can be in a position and the goat will take advantage of it and jump on you. Please, please do not freak out. You can hurt yourself as well as the goat. If by chance the goat jumps on your back, please go into the table pose position.”
Noah leans over, asking me, “What is that?”
“Now with that said, if at any time you don’t feel safe or comfortable you just say the word and Caroline or myself will come and help get you centered again. Okay, let’s get started. Everyone on your mat. Feet shoulder width apart. Now let’s take a deep breath in and exhale.”
Noah is mimicking what Tammy is doing and trying to shoo away a goat that is trying to nibble on his toes. The movement just makes the goat come back, the goat head landing straight into his upper thigh giving him almost a Charlie horse. He falls on one knee. This time two more goats come to him, thinking he’s their personal toy. One tries to lick his nose while another one is biting his shorts in the back. Two goats jump over the one, trying to make out with him, one of them hitting him in the junk, making a loud knock.