Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82472 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82472 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
He leans in and kisses her cheek. “Take care.” And walks out.
“What the fuck is that all about? He just kissed you. Isn’t there like an oath or something that says thou shall not come on to my patients sexually?” I huff out while Kaleigh jumps down, coming up to me and tapping my chest.
“Relax there, Tarzan. Let’s just say that between the two of us, you are the one with the right equipment for him.” She winks at me, turning to walk out. We pass his office on the way out and Kaleigh leans in and says, “Please say hi to Troy for me and tell him that I owe him one.”
“Will do.” He smiles at us as we walk out.
Fifteen minutes later, we have a whole bag of medicine and we are pulling up to her parents’ house. “Should I come in?” I ask her and all she does is shrug her shoulders and grunt. “Are your parents expecting you?” I ask after I get out of the car and jog over to her as she is unlocking the front door.
We walk in and all you hear is “Me Tarzan, you Jane.” And her father jumps out from behind the couch, showing us he is in nothing but his loincloth and white safari hat.
My eyes open huge while Kaleigh shrieks next to me. “Dad.” She throws the bag of meds down and he shields his pecker with his hands, his eyes as wide as saucers, just as her mother comes around the corner into the living room.
“Oh, Tarzan, I hope you have your rope for me to swing on.”
I take in her outfit and throw my head back and let out the biggest laugh of my life. This woman is wearing a leopard bikini top and a leopard print wrap around her waist. Her hands go up and she shrieks out at the top of her lungs. “Oh my God.”
“Hey,” I say, raising my hand. “Dede, you look great.”
She shoos me with her hand. “Oh, stop it, Noah.” She then looks at Kaleigh. “Oh, dear, you look horrible,” she says, coming to her.
“Mom, please tell me you’re wearing something under that loin scarf,” she says, taking in her mother’s outfit. Meanwhile her father has put the couch throw blanket around his waist, his hat still sitting on his head.
“No, dear, it didn’t come with panties,” she says softly. “Are you sick?”
“Yes, Mother, I’m sick. I called you and left you a voice mail,” she says, raising her hands.
“I don’t even know where my phone is,” she says as she turns around and shows us that she is in fact not wearing anything because you can see the bottom of her ass peeking out from the scarf.
Kaleigh puts her hands to her face. “I can’t do this. You need to take me to a hotel.” She pushes me out while I nod to her father and blink at her mother.
An hour later, I have her tucked into my bed. She fought me the whole way home. She took her meds and spoke to her mom on the phone right until she knocked out. I smile as I put the water bottle that she asked me to go get her next to the bed. Making my way downstairs, I grab my phone to call Austin. He answers right away, his frustration coming through the minute he picks up with a snarl.
“Jesus, you would think once you dip your dick in the honey you’d be less fucking high-strung,” I say, walking to the fridge. “Oh my God, unless you didn’t finish? Did you get dick shy?”
“Why are we friends?” he hisses out.
“Because I’ve seen your dick and I have a picture of your testicles. Besides, no one would put up with your mood swings. Jesus, you’re worse than my mother and she is way into menopause.”
“Fuck off, what do you want?”
“Kaleigh is sick, so I need to order her soup, but she is vegan, who doesn’t eat meat.”
“So order her vegetable soup. And what do you mean she’s sick? Where is she?”
“She has strep throat. She is upstairs in my bed.”
“Wait a minute. You actually have a girl in your bed and you’re not sticking your dick in honey?”
“Well, she’s my girlfriend. I don’t have the boyfriend manual on hand, but I’m pretty sure there is something in there with take care of your girl.” I open a beer. “How’s your girlfriend? Last I saw, she was running into a house.”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” he hisses. “She showed up to work on Monday and we decided that we should not work and sleep together.”
“We?” I ask him. “Or you and that stupid rule?”
“It’s not a stupid rule!” he yells. “I can’t sleep with my assistant.”
“Oh, this all makes sense,” I say, sitting down on the stool. “You’re not just cranky, you’re dick cranky. Your dick can’t get into the honey, so now your bumblebee is going nuts.” I laugh out at him. “Dude, just break the rule. Who knows, you might actually like smiling.”