Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82472 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82472 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
“It’s a boy,” I say to her as we walk down the hall to the conference room.
“How do you know?” She looks over with a smirk.
“Because according to an article online, the sex is determined on who the dominant one in bed is. So therefore we are having a boy. Now don’t get me wrong, your sister can ride the shit out of me, but—”
She puts her hand up. “Can we not discuss my sister and your sex life?” She shakes her head, opening the door, going in and seeing the whole room full.
I nod to Harvey, who looks at me funny. “Okay, people, we have a code red.”
“What the fuck is a code red?” Harvey asks, confused.
“So as some of you know I’m off the market.” I look around to see everyone staring at me. “As in I’m in love with one person and one person only.”
“This is what this meeting is for?” says Fred, another criminal case lawyer. “I mean, I’m happy for you, but—”
I put my hand up to stop him from talking. “I need to find my wife and get divorced before I can marry the one I really, really love.”
“You’re married?”
I hear someone shriek out. I look up and see that it was a third year associate who kept bringing me doughnuts last year.
“I am, but now we need to find my fake wife and get a divorce. Her name is Sabrina Collins. Last I heard she was somewhere on the east coast. She was majoring in pediatrics. She is also a lesbian.”
“Why is that an issue?” someone asks.
I look over and see a new face. “Who are you?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, my name is Luca. I’m the new associate who just graduated Harvard,” he says, his voice sure of himself.
I look him over, perfect suit, perfect hair, pretty face. I like him.
“It’s important because if you find her on Facebook she will probably be in a relationship with a woman.”
“Now I want everyone on this. I would like for this to be over by Friday,” I say, looking at everyone as they all nod their heads. “Let’s go, people.”
Everyone gets up to leave except Harvey, who sits back in his chair.
Once everyone is gone but Harvey, Lauren, and me he finally talks, “You committed fraud.” He throws his pen down. “Seriously, Noah. You’re a lawyer.”
“It wasn’t fraud.” I look at Lauren, who crosses her arms. “Per se.” When Lauren pffts I continue, “Okay, fine, I knew she was a lesbian, but you never know, people can change.”
“I agree,” he says, now sitting up, crossing his arms in front of him. “People change all the time, but sexual orientation doesn’t change. Did she make you think she would change?”
“She sent him a knife picture when he sent her a dick pic,” Lauren buts in, earning her a glare from me.
“It wasn’t my finest moment, okay, but I need to get that divorce. I’m going to be a father,” I say. I don’t think I have ever been more proud in my life to say those words. “I’m going to be a dad,” I say again. This time my chest puffs out more. “Me a father.” I get up, smiling. “Lauren, order Kaleigh flowers and fruit baskets and some vegan shit she eats.” I turn, walking out of the office and then turning back around. “A dad. Me. I have super sperm,” I say, walking out to my office to start my own search.
By the end of the day, Harvey, Luca, and I are in the boardroom going through all the notes the associates have given us. The boardroom is full of notes, leftover lunch boxes, empty Starbucks cups.
“How is this girl not traceable?” I say, running my hands through my hair, pulling at it.
“It’s like she’s a ghost,” Harvey says. “Um, Noah, take no offense, but are you sure this woman exists?” Harvey says to me.
Luca raises his eyebrows, waiting for the answer.
“Trust me. She was real. Even Austin met her,” I say to them.
“Well, we know that she had a driver’s license when you guys were together, but that was never renewed,” Luca says, looking at the white board with all the writings. “So she probably doesn’t drive anymore.” He sits up, snapping his fingers. “We need to look in the states that have public transport faster than driving.”
Harvey slams his hand on the table. “Yes, New York, Chicago maybe? L.A.”
Luca shakes his head. “No, everyone in L.A. drives. It’s why you’re stuck in traffic for hours.”
Harvey looks at his watch, getting up. “I have to go. My son has his soccer game tonight.”
“That’s amazing,” I say.
“Well, considering he’s five and picks daisies because he hates the fucking sport, yeah, should be a fun time for everyone.” I laugh as he leaves.
“Okay, Luca, let’s take a breather and start fresh tomorrow,” I say, gathering the papers.