Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 33586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 168(@200wpm)___ 134(@250wpm)___ 112(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 168(@200wpm)___ 134(@250wpm)___ 112(@300wpm)
It had taken lots of soul searching and many a sleepless night, along with a stern talking to from my bestie, but I had come to the conclusion that it was best for me to go after my dreams instead of trying to please everyone else.
Ever since about the age of sixteen, whenever I close my eyes at night, all I see is he and I together. In the beginning it had seemed like a hopeless dream, something that would never come to be. Nicki was handsome and successful. Women loved and adored him, old and young, I’ve seen it constantly. I on the other hand could always easily fade into the wallpaper and no one would even notice.
Though he’d been kind to me always, there was never any danger of him falling passionately in love with me, as I sometimes daydreamed he would. I was by far too shy anyway, and was prone to stammering and falling all over my feet when in his presence. I admit I was never anyone’s idea of a sex symbol, and for a long time I was mad at him for not seeing me as anything more than what the eye portrayed. Silly I know. I wanted him to see something that I was trying so hard to keep hidden.
I do know he likes my mind and my drive though, so at least we’ll have something to talk about. We’d had quite a few conversations over the years, when he’d blessed me with his presence on those rare occasions that he was in one place for more than a few seconds, slight exaggeration but not by much. And by the time I had grown out of my awkward stage and was actually able to breathe in his presence, those times were like manna for my soul.
Now I wanted nothing more than to bear his children and keep his home, it’s all I’ve ever really wanted. No career goals for me, and that was okay, except for what the parents were gonna have to say about it. It seems like I’ve waited forever to be his in every way possible, and somehow I knew that if I waited much longer, I ran the risk of losing him to someone else, that was a risk I was no longer willing to take.
That’s why I had chosen this time to make my move, although I had tried to be as subtle as possible in the off chance that he didn’t return my feelings. Dana had been sure that if I went for it there was no way he would be able to resist me, but I hadn’t been too sure; until last night that is. The flash of tit had been a good choice and I’d come up with it all on my own.
So far he’d been able to resist everything I threw at him, even to the point of acting as though he wasn’t even aware of me in that way. But after my little stunt, I realized that it had all been an act. Not only was he interested, he had been very aware. The heated look he’d given me had been proof of that.
It was the first chink in his armor, the first move that told me I was finally getting to him. That maybe, just maybe, all my prayers would be answered. Now it’s about to happen. It had been a long grueling battle but it was so worth it. I felt the doubts creep in again but forced them away again. Everything will work out it had to. I don’t think I would survive it they didn’t.
The last year away I hadn’t neglected my studies, but I was even surer during the separation, that he was what I really wanted. I’d barely been able to sleep or eat those first few weeks; I’d missed him so much. At home, even though I didn’t see him every day, I still stood the chance of seeing him at least once a week. Away at school with all those miles between us, it felt like I was in another world. It was a torture I never wanted to revisit again.
I just have to get mom and my stepdad to see that I wouldn’t survive another two or three years without him, they’ll have to understand. I know I’m being a coward but I really wasn’t looking forward to having the talk with them, there was no way of getting around it though I’m afraid. I never wanted to be away from him again, and from what I knew of him, he wasn’t gonna go for the sneaking around bit. It was the only fly in my ointment, what were the parents going to do?
I pushed that all aside and enjoyed for the one hundredth time that day, the fact that he hadn’t shot me down. I’d put myself out there and it had paid off. Granted I hadn’t meant to say those exact words to get things started, but I was glad now that the truth was out there. I didn’t just want to have a fling with my stepbrother. I wanted to build a life with him. I get butterflies just thinking about it. I can’t believe he said yes.