Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 132512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 663(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
“Did you finish your conversation with Gavin?” Ned asked as if he hadn’t snapped a man’s neck moments ago. He looked around the posters depicting the show’s star attractions with his hands in his pockets.
The sudden change of topic made Cole frown and then circle Ned to face him. Killing bad men shouldn’t weigh too heavily on anyone’s chest, but to dismiss it just like that was a different matter. Especially for someone like Ned, who wasn’t the kind to murder and then have dinner right next to the bodies.
“Are you fine?”
“Why?” Ned asked but didn’t meet his gaze.
“Because you just killed a man with your bare hands.”
Ned licked his lips and stayed silent for a bit, adjusting his hat so it sat lower on his head. “He had a knife at your throat. He’d made his choice.”
“He did, but don’t act as if it don’t matter. You’re not like that.”
Ned cocked his head and finally looked into Cole’s eyes. “I’m exactly like that. I robbed and killed before, so don’t make me into some wholesome farm boy, because that man’s long gone.”
Anger buzzed inside Cole, and he twisted the front of Ned’s shirt in his hand, pulling him in. “And you don’t make yourself into a man with no morals!”
Ned’s frown deepened. “Why do you care what morals I have or don’t?”
It was a provocation, and Cole pulled him even closer, so he could see what hid in the depths of Ned’s green eyes. “Why do you no longer care what I think?”
That finally stunned Ned into mulling over his answer. “I do… But my fate was sealed when I pulled the trigger all those years ago. You were there. No use pretending I’m something I’m not.”
“Ned, you did what you had to every time. Even that girl. If it wasn’t for you, that child would have blown my brains out with another bullet! You must know this. One life would have been lost that night. You just chose which one.”
Ned’s face twisted. “And we shouldn’t have been there in the first place. We’ve made bad choices, and other people paid for them.”
“Men can change. Neither of us does that kind of thing anymore. You can’t live in the past,” Cole snapped and let go of Ned, swallowing the hypocrisy of his own words.
Ned shook his head and… walked off despite mumbling. “Why didn’t you make better choices, huh? There is no future for you now.” There was something more, but Ned had gone too far away for Cole to hear it. Still, the accusation was so infuriating Cole stalked after him and yanked at his sleeve.
“I made the best I could of my life. The only time that matters is now!”
Ned turned back so abruptly they almost butted heads, and Cole had to take a step back. “No it don’t. What I did matters. I shot Homer Craig, a good man, straight in the face just because I knew his son would go after me instead of you. I blew a girl’s head off to save you, and the now is that I would have done it all over again. That means I’m still that same scum.”
A heavy weight settled deep in Cole’s stomach, and he stared straight back. “Maybe you should have let them do it then?”
“Maybe you should have let Lars shoot me,” Ned growled, breathing hard as Cole’s entire body stiffened, poked by invisible stings.
“I’m sorry he’s dead, but I don’t regret shooting that bullet,” Cole said through the rock forming in his throat. If Lars had shot Ned, Cole would have killed him anyway.
“And I did what I did, because I chose to. I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. You forgot I’m the Wolfman?”
“Stop it with the Wolfman already!” Cole shouted, pushing Ned back when his anger became too fiery to manage. “You know right from wrong, and you prove it every time, so either let me die next time or come to your senses!”
Ned grabbed Cole’s wrist and pulled so hard Cole fell forward, into his arms. “This is what I know is right.”
Cole stilled, unable to make himself meet Ned’s eyes, so instead he stared at his hand—rough and spotted with freckles—squeezing his longer, tawny fingers. His chest tightened around his heart, which beat fast, like when he’d taken a bit too much cocaine for his last cough.
He wanted to push Ned back. To kiss him and believe in his sincerity, but he’d already made up his mind. He’d leave Ned here, let him try all the pleasures he’d been living without up in the mountains. He’d already told Terje to approach Ned once the time was right, and if all went well, Ned might realize that Cole wasn’t the man for him. That he was just a man.
And once that happened, their joyful first love would be forgotten like a delicious meal eaten a few days back.