Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 82034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
“I had the courage before I came here,” I tell him. “I’ve already booked a flight out of LAX to Paris that leaves tonight.”
My dad blinks in delighted surprise. “Then why did you come?”
“Because I needed to know why you weren’t there. It was the missing piece to the puzzle. For most of my life, it was just easy to believe that you didn’t love me.”
“Oh, Jesus Dane… never that,” my dad says as he steps toward me with arms reaching out. I have to control myself not to step backward, but he comes to a halt when he senses the awkwardness of the situation. “I always loved you. Even when I was at my lowest and without hope, I loved you. In prison, I dreamed of one day getting you back. And honestly… the drugs helped to dull that pain. It was a vicious cycle I’d give anything to go back and break a lot sooner than I did, because then you wouldn’t have had to live with all those doubts.”
I want to believe him, but I don’t know if I can. He’s a stranger to me, and there’s no trust between us. I can’t just let go of over three decades of bitterness and loathing for this man, but I could try to come to peace with it.
“Maybe when I get back to the States, you and I could have dinner or something,” I suggest cautiously. “Get to know each other a little.”
Tears well up in my dad’s eyes, and he nods quickly. His voice is clogged with emotion. “It would mean everything to me.”
I stick my hand out to him, the only olive branch I can extend right now. But it’s a sincere one. He puts his hand in mine, and we shake.
But then I look down at my watch, and I know I’ve got to head out to catch my flight. Because Avril is really all that matters.
CHAPTER 31
Avril
Clyde makes a noise… a moaning, keening, growling sound. He then head butts the door, and that’s my cue to let him out. When I do, he trots out and down the staircase where someone will open the outer door at some point so he can make it out onto the streets.
He’s been a good companion for me as he’s not overly needy. He comes inside to eat late in the day, and then will sit in my window to watch the back courtyard down below. He’ll sleep on the end of my bed, and then in the morning after I feed him, he’ll head butt the door to go out. I don’t know what he does during the day, although I suspect fighting with other alley cats may be on the agenda given he’s missing half an ear and has scars on his face.
There’s a million things I could do today. I don’t know how many times I’ve visited Paris, but I’ve covered all the major sightseeing that should be done by a visitor. But now that I’m considering making this my permanent home, there’s so much more to discover. Fabron had suggested Les Puces de St-Ouen, which is the largest flea market in the world and because it’s a Wednesday, he said it wouldn’t be overly crowded. But I’m not much of a shopper. I might just wander some streets and eat a good meal, although too much of that and I won’t fit into my clothes. The food in Paris is dangerous to a girl like me who over eats when she’s sad and blue.
And yes… I’m still so very sad and blue. It’s why I haven’t accepted the position with Révéler yet. I can’t be making major decisions when I’m having such emotional extremes. At one moment, I think I’ll be okay. It might be when I’m walking by a flower stand over on Rue Amelot, and the brightness of a sunflower makes me smile. But the next moment, I could see a young couple holding hands and I’ll break down into tears over my loss.
I’ve already made one major decision while under extreme emotional distress, and the only thing I can do is believe that it was right. I still don’t see how I could ever stay at Caterva and see Dane day in and day out, not having what we had. Or God forbid, seeing him with another woman like at The Wicked Horse. I’m pretty sure coming to Paris was the best thing for me. I’ve got so much money in savings that I could stay here for a few years without working and be fine, and maybe that’s just what I’ll do. It’s definitely an option since I’m just not sure about the job at Révéler.
It’s not that I don’t think I’d be a great fit, because I know I would. It would probably be more challenging to me and, of course, the money can’t be beat. But I don’t know if I want to stay in this industry. There’s something painful about having been part of one of the best biotech firms in the world that was poised to make a major medical breakthrough, and then suddenly not being a part of it anymore.