Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 131888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
It had been a long time since she was in that same dark headspace. She desperately wanted to avoid returning there.
On the other hand, she also wanted to be there for Nox.
He needed her.
Everything about him was as stiff as the Tin Man. The tendons in his neck were strained. His eyes unfocused. His hands were curled into fists.
He was stuck in his head. Most likely back on the day he lost his wife.
He’d never forget it, just like she never forgot the exact moment she was informed that Mark had been killed in the line of duty. At that moment, someone might as well have done a leg sweep and knocked her off her feet.
But the difference was, she wasn’t the one who found him. If she had…
She couldn’t imagine finding the love of your life dead. Especially if he’d been by himself.
When they came to tell her about Mark, she was surrounded by three other Pittsburgh PD officers. Officers she personally knew. Co-workers Mark had been close with.
They were there to pick her up off the floor. To listen. To hold her as she went through the initial stages of shock and denial. And they remained with her until the reality of the situation hit home and until her mother and Mark’s family came to take over.
But Nox said Jackie wasn’t alone when he found her. Why didn’t that person contact him? Warn him first?
None of it made sense.
“Who was with her, Nox? Somebody you knew?”
A muscle jumped in his cheek. Once again, he pressed his fists into his eye sockets. Most likely to try to stifle the visions in his head. “I didn’t have a chance to get to know her yet.”
That did not clear up her confusion, but the tortured tone of his voice caused dread to fill her chest.
Whatever it was, wasn’t good.
Lord no. It was really bad.
She was afraid to hear what he would say next. She wanted to know but also didn’t. So, she braced herself for the worst.
“She was seven months pregnant with my daughter.”
Her blood turned to ice in her veins. Her lungs struggled to pull in air. Her heart stopped beating for a few seconds. She had to fight the wail that threatened to burst from her.
For her, Mark’s loss was excruciating enough, but to lose one of her sons?
No wonder his wife’s death hit him so hard and for so long. It wasn’t one loss.
It was two.
And the second one hadn’t had the opportunity to live even a minute of life.
Gone before she even arrived. Before the world got to meet her.
With her stomach twisting, Liyah wanted to puke.
Breakfast would end up tossed in the trash. She lost her appetite, and she was damn sure Nox would no longer be in a mood to eat.
She closed the space between them. When she stopped in front of him, she didn’t pull his hands away from his face, but instead, wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his bare chest. For a moment, she listened to his thumping heart. His muscles were still as hard as concrete.
He was struggling to keep from breaking down.
Maybe that was what he needed. A release.
To stop holding everything inside.
“What happened?” she asked gently, squeezing him even tighter.
His words sounded thick when he answered, “Cause of death was determined to be an acute subdural hematoma from a fall.”
“And do you believe that diagnosis?”
“Yes, I found… Yes, that’s how… I…”
He suddenly jolted against her and before she knew what was happening, he slipped from her grasp and landed on his knees at her feet.
He was no longer holding anything in. No longer trying to wear a brave face.
He was letting it all go.
Finally.
Even so, her heart cracked in two as he hugged her legs and hid his face against her lower belly…
But it was when she heard his broken sobs…
Tears welled up in her own eyes while she clutched the back of his neck with one hand and gently combed her fingers through his hair with the other, trying to soothe and support him without words. She wanted him to know she was there for him.
For as long as he needed her.
She swiped at the hot tear rolling down her own cheek and locked her knees so she wouldn’t collapse into a puddle on the floor next to him while mourning the loss of, not only Nox’s wife, but his unborn baby girl.
A daughter clearly and completely loved by her father, despite the fact he never got to the chance to see or hold her.
“Is this the first time you’ve let yourself cry?” Lord, tears thickened her voice, too.
His lack of answer was answer enough.
Smothering a sniffle, he wiped at his eyes and nose. But he didn’t move away, he remained at her feet with his face pressed to her stomach. Most likely waiting for the stirred-up, deep emotions to pass.